I Think...

Birthday Girl

2012-01-30T19:36:00.003-06:00

9 years ago today, the most precious little girl was added to our family.

I certainly don't deserve to have something so precious in my care, and I haven't always done the best job as "mom." In fact, the past few years I was closed off and irritable in many ways. But thankfully, because of the healing God has done in my heart over the past year, Ava and I have reconnected on a very deep level. And I am thrilled that she shares her ideas, hopes, thoughts, and dreams with me. I am happy to be a safe place for her, and I am privileged to know her, to really know the inner her, because I can testify she has one of the most beautiful spirits I have ever experienced.

She brings me so much joy. I look at her loving heart, her creative and enthusiastic mind, and I marvel at the fact that I get a front row seat for her life! I love to watch her make her way in the world...I wince when she gets hurt, inwardly sing when she chooses well, ache to protect her from harm, and can't help but smile at the beauty she brings into the world.

This girl is something special. I know I'm biased, but seriously, ask anyone who knows her and I think they would tell you the same thing. She is a light, a refreshing stream, a jewel, a giggle, a joyful melody, a clear sky. I love her.

Sky

2012-01-26T08:01:00.003-06:00

One afternoon last week when I was driving the kids home from school, the sky captured my attention. As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I ran inside and grabbed my camera. No matter which direction I looked, there was something beautiful and different that I wanted to photograph. I so rarely see clouds that look like this. These images are unedited...

Resourceful Knitting

2012-01-24T12:51:00.004-06:00

Boy I had a time making this little brown scarf. I was just coming off of my first knitting project which was a big success...I whipped up a gorgeous multi-colored long narrow scarf with fringe using only the knitting stitch, and I was feeling rather adventurous. I can do more than just this knitting stitch, I told myself. So, I found instructions online for a "sampler scarf" which uses lots of variations of the knit and purl stitch to create patterns like basket weave, ribbing, etc. This was a coming of age project for me. I learned a lot about keeping track of where I am, how to take rows out after messing up and, more importantly, get them threaded back onto the needle. I even learned how to keep going and make changes when things go awry. For example, the original pattern calls for a long section of vertical ribbing in the center of the scarf, and my vertical ribbing was not going well. It was all puckered up and pulling the edges of the scarf toward the center. It would not lay flat and looked terrible. So I ended up taking that out and changing the pattern to make a horizontal ribbing instead. Yes, I did just change the pattern on my second ever knitting project. Yes, that does deserve a round of applause and a glass of wine. Then, just when I was feeling all smug, I came to the end of my project and realized two very important things: my scarf was too short and it had a small hole in it. Now that would be enough to make most beginners cry or at least swear off ever knitting again, but I was determined to wear this thing I just spent 15 hours making, so I cranked up the creative juices and found one solution for both problems!

And that solution is called "a button." I went through my big bag of lovely vintage buttons and pulled out a gorgeous metal scroll work button. I placed it where it would fit through the small hole that isn't supposed to be there, and voila! I made my scarf into a neck wrap of sorts.

It isn't what I thought it would be when I started the project, but I am happy with it and I learned so much.

Runner Kids

2012-01-24T07:59:00.002-06:00

Ava and Nate have been begging to try running with me. I bought them both a good pair of shoes a few weeks ago and finally last night I took them on a run with me. I had no idea what to expect as far as their ability so I decided we would try doing a 1 minute jog/1 minute walk pattern and I was not sure how long we would keep going.

Because it was dark and I didn't want to navigate a bunch of intersections, we drove to the park which has a nice 1K loop. The kids were so excited! They could not wait to get started.

Let me tell you, I was blown away by their ability! The pattern was incredibly easy for them. They kept up a nice jogging pace and a quick walking pace, too. And, they would not shut up! They talked and talked and laughed and I kept reminding them that they needed to think about breathing deeper and that stopping the chatter might help if they were feeling out of breath. I didn't want to wear them out (and Nate had a side stitch) so we stopped after 2 loops, but they could have easily gone farther.

I am going to have to take them out on a jog more often, and I see a family 5K event in our near future.

Nouwen Book and Lent

2012-01-23T09:38:00.004-06:00

I keep finding just the right books for the place I am in my spiritual journey.

At Half Price this weekend I found a book by Henri Nouwen that I didn't even know existed and is the perfect material for me. I have been looking forward to the upcoming season of Lent this year. In the past, Lent has meant little to me. But lately I have begun to see the powerful beauty in this opportunity of confession, purification, and realization that God is performing a redeeming work in my heart. I want to experience Lent in a meaningful way that highlights my empty weakness and my yearning for Christ to fill me to overflowing with his peace and love.

I wasn't sure what that was going to look like, but then this little book jumped off the shelf and into my arms. Henri Nouwen wrote a book of daily meditations for Lent!

Starting on February 22 I will get to read one of Nouwen's thought-provoking, spirit-touching devotional thoughts every day before spending some quiet time in silence and solitude. I am almost giddy about this, and I know it's a weird thing to be giddy about. I have high expectations that God is going to meet me in my openness and wrap me in his presence. Regardless of what I feel during this time, I am looking forward to the discipline and routine this will be for the duration of Lent and I know it will bring new joy to my Easter Sunday.

The book Show Me the Way is available on Amazon, and you know it's got to be good because it's by Henri Nouwen. There's plenty of time to get a copy before Lent begins if this idea has sparked a desire within you as well. However you decide to experience Lent this year, I hope it is a time of blessing and growth for you and that it brings you ever closer to unity with God.

Sabbath Skating

2012-01-22T19:15:00.006-06:00

This may go down in history as the Sabbath event that makes me most sore...

We spent 3 hours roller skating as a family this afternoon and my body is letting me know it did not appreciate that very much.

Ava's friend was having her birthday party at the roller rink so we piled the family in the van and decided to all spend the afternoon there. It was the first time for 3 out of 5 in our family to even try roller skating! Cody picked it up fast so he and I took turns holding Lucas up as he attempted to get the hang of it. My arms are killing me! But by the end of the afternoon, Lucas was skating all by himself and was super proud about it, too.

Nate was an immediate pro, and Ava had fun alternating skating with us and with her friends. The 3 hours flew by. But at the end of it we were all exhausted and starving, so we went out for pizza.

This was such a fun way to spend the afternoon! And we get to do it again next month because our church is having a skating party. I can't wait!

24 Hours Kid-Free

2012-01-21T14:58:00.004-06:00

Cody and I suddenly found ourselves kid-free on a Friday afternoon (Thanks, Granna!) so we grabbed the opportunity and headed to Bishop Arts District. I picked him up from his office around 3:30 PM and we had until our 6 PM dinner reservation to browse the unique shops. I immediately fell in love with this quirky, artsy area. It didn't hurt that the weather was a beautiful sunny 75 degrees (is this really January?)
There were so many lovely stores. Boutiques, antiques, vintage, and my favorite...
I never knew this sweet shop existed until some friends gave us chocolate from here. When we walked in last night one of the first things I saw was a box of marzipan stuffed Medjool dates covered in chocolate. Nature's candy just got an upgrade! We tried lots of free samples and I also loved the yerba mate truffles. Tea and chocolate go well together at last!

After walking around for a while we were needing a little appetizer before dinner so we stopped at Eno's Pizza Tavern. They had just what we wanted- a picnic platter full of cheeses, salami, olives, flat bread, and rosemary pecans. I must figure out a recipe for rosemary pecans and make these pronto. They were delicious.

We had dinner reservations at Hattie's. I had trouble deciding what to order because so many of the entrees sounded fabulous. I'm not incredibly adventurous when it comes to nice restaurants. I usually get the salmon, or pork, or steak...but this night something crazy came over me and I ordered the jalapeno-stuffed, bacon-wrapped quail. It came with a demi-glaze, whipped sweet potatoes and the best, I mean the hands down best, greens I have ever tasted in my life. If I could only replicate one food item from this evening it would be those greens. Cody had braised short ribs, and although we were both stuffed, we shared a banana pecan fried pie with coconut ice cream for dessert. Yes, I am freely admitting to gluttony.

We walked around a little more after dinner. We stopped in a store called M'Antiques that was really cool. The owner told us he had just finished filming a spot for Texas Country Reporter with Bob Phillips. We are dorky and actually watch that show so maybe we'll see him on there sometime!

I would have been content if the evening had stopped there, but amazingly, it continued on as we visited Specs to choose a wine for an upcoming wine dinner with friends. A knowledgeable employee taught us a lot about Burgundy wines (which is the theme for that evening) and we picked one that we think everyone will really enjoy. Then we stopped by one of my all-time favorite places, Half Price Books. I found two Henri Nouwen books (score!) and some other items as well.

We packed a lot of fun into our night out without kids. It even continued into today...but I am ready to have them back home. Although I just got an email saying the kids didn't want to come home yet, so they will be back later than expected. Hmm. I guess Granna's house is just as much fun for them as a night out on the town is for us!

Flying By

2012-01-19T16:44:00.002-06:00

Agh! January is flying by so fast!

Here are a few updates:

I am addicted to Medjool dates. And since I thanked Greta for basically saving my life in my last post, I will also give her credit for getting me hooked on these tasty little pieces of heaven. Sprouts calls them Nature's candy. They taste like caramelized brown sugar. They are expensive and worth every penny. But don't just get any dates...make sure they say "Medjool." Here is an interesting article about this fantastic treat.

I did find the perfect pair of jeans recently. They are Loft Curvy Flare Leg jeans. I have never had a pair of jeans that fit as well as these and I scored them at half price over the holidays.

I even had a girlfriend tell me out of the blue today at school pick up that my butt looked great in these jeans...that is a good friend right there. I've got such great friends...giving me compliments and introducing me to God's most amazing fruit creation on the planet.

It's birthday season around here. All my evens are turning odd. In a couple of weeks I'll have a 9, 7, and 5 year old, and it's about a 6 month countdown to my career change next August. That is how I am looking at it anyway. For a decade, I've had at least 1 little one at home with me. I could have another baby and just keep on doing what I've always been doing, or I can embrace something new. I'm choosing to embrace something new even though I don't know exactly what that will look like yet. I'm excited to think about what opportunities and possibilities will present themselves.

And last but not least, I totally redid the master bedroom yesterday, and in all humility, I think it looks great! I might post pictures soon.

January Run: Greta & The Hotcake Hustle

2012-01-14T18:00:00.001-06:00

An idea was planted in me months ago: make running fun by focusing on relationship, joy, and health instead of competition, comparison, and self-defeating negative thinking. And what better way to do this than to celebrate once a month by running an event with a friend? But who is crazy enough to get out there in freezing temperatures for a January run with me?

Greta!

It was about 33 degrees this morning, but the event planners were thoughtful enough to open the Addison Convention Center so participants could relax in warmth before and after the race.

They were also thoughtful enough to include an enormous hill in the route, but we won't dwell on that. It was a sold out crowd of 2500, so the energy in the air was palatable. We were pumped up and ready to run. One thing we enjoyed was seeing lots of families running together. We happened to stay close to a dad/daughter team throughout the race and thought it was sweet to listen to the encouragement he was giving this little girl (who was about Ava's age) as she jogged along. Greta wore her vibrams- first race to do that, and I am glad to report she did not trip over the road or her own toes. We continued chatting at Cafe Brazil after the race which is a great way to spend the morning.

I am so thankful for Greta. The depth of my gratefulness can't be fully appreciated without sharing this...

During the past year, I suffered an identity crisis and depression that it would not be overly dramatic to call life-threatening. In this dark and lonely time, God provided a handful of people to walk alongside me and physically demonstrate God's love and mercy to me before I was even able to understand it, before I was able to claim it from God himself as my birthright. Greta was one of these people. What I really appreciate about Greta is that every single thing I brought to her; fear, anger, neediness, shame, sadness, even my victories and healing, no matter what it was, she constantly pointed me toward God in it. She had been a friend of mine for several years before this, but it was through this trial that she really came to know me, the good bad and ugly, and her response of love and compassion is something I will always be thankful for and cherish. I came to know the real her during this time also, and I testify that the gift of authentic relationship, accountability, and openness is one of the greatest pieces of heaven on earth anyone will ever experience. And I am absolutely convinced now that it is the only path to true spiritual transformation.

Thankfully, God has worked in my heart in such a way that I have not placed my friendship with Greta as the latest cheap bauble on a long strand of wrong sources for seeking my identity. Along with her example, the readings I have devoured, and the counseling lessons I have done, God himself has shown me that my identity is not based on the affection and approval or rejection and disapproval of the people around me. For the first time in my life I am free. Free to give love without manipulation, without needing anything in return. Free to be myself without fear. Free to examine and understand my inmost motivations and turn them over to a God I trust completely.

Greta has been a huge part of that journey to freedom with me, so it's only fitting that the first running event of the year be with her. Thank you, Greta, for loving me when I felt unlovable and for showing me an example of what real love is.

Knitting

2012-01-11T08:15:00.003-06:00

Chalk it up to chance, or the whim of a friend, but here I am doing something I never planned to do: knitting.

My friend Erin asked me to go with her to the monthly knitting club meeting at the library last Saturday. We had no idea what to expect. It turned out to be a lovely group of women (and one man) of all ages doing all kinds of needlework. My friend expressed interest in learning how to knit and before we could blink, a sweet woman had us sitting at a table with knitting needles in hand. She was so patient, and we were so thick-headed. But it finally started to click. I went home inspired to knit a scarf. And when I say knit, I really mean that exclusively. I learned two basic stitches: knit and purl which can be used together in all sorts of ways to produce patterns and textures. However, I am only using the knitting stitch to make my scarf in order to keep it very simple.

The lesson we received at the library was thorough, but I've had to look a few things up in order to refresh my memory. Thankfully, I have the most modern, cutting edge reference booklet in my possession.

Can you believe someone just gave that away for free on the discard table at the knitting club? I can't knock it too much though, because it has excellent illustrations and has made it possible for me to keep going on my own.

Knitting is so different from my usual modus operandi crochet. It seems slower but I am unsure if that is mostly because of my lack of experience. I haven't completely made up my mind about it yet, but I am glad I picked up a new skill to play around with.

New Glasses

2012-01-10T14:10:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago I shared that Cody and I ordered glasses from an online store recommended to us by a friend. Sorry I am just now letting everyone know how that turned out! We both got our glasses from Zinni Optical, a place that sells them at a price that seems too good to be true. Thankfully, the risk of buying them so cheaply paid off. We both love our glasses. The quality is excellent. Whenever we need glasses in the future we plan to buy them from this place again. Their prices start at $6.95 but adding on a few high end things that optometrists recommend like anti-reflection coating or upgraded lenses can increase that price a bit. Together, my regular glasses and Cody's prescription sunglasses cost about $35. Not bad!

Christmas Camp-Out

2012-01-09T15:32:00.006-06:00

Guess what. Texas state parks are not very busy the week after Christmas. Though they are busier than I expected. I figured we'd be about the only ones out camping during the days between Christmas and New Year, but there were a handful of others with the same idea...and guts. It was a tad chilly the night we stayed in our tent. We had brought a space heater to try and take the edge off, but it was hard to tell it was even on. I think I only got about 2 hours of sleep because I was so cold!

Regardless of the cool nights, we had a great time on this trip. It was a spontaneous thing, and we found ourselves in a truly beautiful spot right next to the lake at Cooper Lake State Park. We had a campfire going almost non-stop, the kids ran all over the place exploring on foot, bikes, and scooters, we ate dozens of s'mores, I got to play around with my new camera equipment, and we just enjoyed hanging out together as a family.

I would have never expected to go camping in December, but it turned out to be a refreshing get-away.

Cooking Class

2012-01-05T15:50:00.004-06:00

Cody gave me a neat and thoughtful gift for Christmas: 2 cooking classes at Central Market. I had my first class last night which was about hearty soups. The class is hands on, so about 2 dozen of us were split into 2 groups, each with a teacher, to dice, stir, peel, etc as we made 5 soups together. It was so much fun! The staff poured wine liberally to the students as we cooked, the smells of the food were mouth-watering, the teacher was smart and informative, the fellow students jovial and enthusiastic. I picked up at least a dozen great tips on kitchen techniques throughout the 2.5 hour course. One of the coolest was learning how to completely seed a roma tomato in about 3 seconds. At the end of class, we all feasted on our creations. And I do mean feast. It was almost more than I could eat.

The beautiful French Onion Soup topped with crouton and Gruyere cheese...

Other soups we made: Italian Wedding, Turkey Tortilla, Butternut Squash Bisque...

And my absolute favorite of the evening in the front bowl...Cream of Asparagus. It was so creamy and delectable, but the best part was the baked prosciutto chips we dropped into it before serving. Oh. Man. Sooooooo yummy.

As we finished up our bowls of soup, the staff set up an ice cream sundae bar for dessert. I didn't think I could possibly eat another bite, but the words "Spiced Rum Butterscotch Sauce" got my attention and caused me to fix a bowl. I was glad I did.

I get to take another class in February on Thai Food. I am super excited about that because I love Thai food but have no idea how to prepare it. This has turned out to be a perfect gift for me...Cody did a good job! Of course, he gets to sample all the wonderful dishes I learn about then make at home, so it's a bit of a gift for him, too.

The Impostor

2012-01-04T13:43:00.003-06:00

I read a great book by Brennan Manning called "Abba's Child." The second chapter titled The Impostor is one of his most popular pieces of writing. It's probably so popular because it's refreshing to hear something we can all relate to laid out in such clear, easy to understand terms. There is a false self in each of us. This self is concerned with image and with getting certain needs met in order to feel okay about itself. It is a completely selfish self that betrays our true self (the self that is formed in and for love). What makes it hard is that the false self never fully goes away no matter now clearly we identify it or how soundly we claim our identity as God's beloved. The tug to be identified by our accomplishments, what people say about us, how well we can perform, etc is like a constant annoying hum in the background (at best) if not the rushing river moving our lives from person to place to project in search of identity.

I had a revelation today that Jesus understands that false self, in fact he must have had his own false self tugging at his true identity or the temptations he faced in the wilderness wouldn't have even been tempting. Provide for yourself, prove that you are special, be powerful and successful in the world's eyes...these are the things that appeal to a false identity that wants to matter to somebody, anybody, besides just God.

It's making me think. I could reread that Impostor chapter a dozen times because it's highly relevant to me in my faith journey right at this moment. I would recommend this book to anyone, just because of that one chapter, even though the rest of the book is pretty good, too.

Here is a prayer by Henri Nouwen that reflects this theme beautifully:

Why do I keep relating to you as one of my many relationships, instead of my only relationship, in which all other ones are grounded ? Why do I keep looking for popularity, respect from others, success, acclaim, and sensual pleasures ? Why, Lord, is it so hard for me to make you the only one ? Why do i keep hesitating to surrender myself totally to you ?
Help me, O Lord, to let my old self die, to let die the thousand big and small ways in which i am still building up my false self and trying to cling to my false desires. Let me be reborn in you and see through you the world in the right way, so that all my actions, words, thoughts can become a hymn of praise to you. I need your loving grace to travel on this hard road that leads to the death of my old self and to a new life in and for you. I know and trust that this is the road to freedom. Lord, dispel my mistrust and help me become a trusting friend. Amen.

2012 Books

2012-01-02T10:37:00.007-06:00

It's time once again to start my yearly list of the books I have read. This will be my 6th year to record this information here on this blog. It has been helpful for me to be able to look back at what I have read and to recall what I thought about it or how it impacted my life. (Or its lack of impact if I can't even remember what the book was about...)

What literary gems and disasters does 2012 hold?

As always, the rating:

1-3 I wish I could burn all copies of this book.
4-6 Had a few things going for it, but definitely not my favorite.
7-8 I enjoyed or got something out of this book, worth reading.
9-10 One of the best, highly recommended.

Abba's Child by Brennan Manning 9 It's only fitting to begin the year with this book, one I started in December but finished today. It perfectly sums up the transformation I have gone through over the past year as I have come to find my identity in God alone. This book is worth any price just for the one chapter called "The Impostor" because it lays out the false self vs. true self so clearly. However, the entire book is inspiring and encouraging.

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy 7 No, I never read it in high school or college. I knew it's famous. I knew it's supposedly good. Other than that, I had no clue what it would be about. (I didn't even know what a pimpernel is.) I was pleased with this classic novel focused on a daring Englishman's rescue of doomed French aristocrats. Full of twists, turns, and fabulously well-written inner dialog from the main character Lady Blakeley. Very enjoyable!

Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen (compiled by Christensen and Laird) 8 Using Nouwen's notes, class material, and other writings these authors created a book on Nouwen's view of Spiritual Direction or how maturity is developed in self and others.

The Pursuit of Man by Tozer 10 Best book on the Holy Spirit I have ever read. I can't imagine a better one exists. Gave words to my experiences of late, challenged me to continue to seek God's presence. Loved the message of this book.

Chocolate, Friends, and Resolutions

2012-01-01T20:13:00.002-06:00

Some friends gave us the coolest box of chocolates from a small shop in oak cliff called Dude, Sweet Chocolate. The flavors are outrageously unique and we are having so much fun trying each one. Just read through these descriptions:

here's how it all got started - the six DUDE chocolates are a bit more savory than the SWEET six, but they're all dark...
DUDE chocolates

Queen of Sheeba - grains of paradise, carrot

Parique -Louisanna tobacco, cognac

Toga Party - togarashi, mango

London’s Calling - barley malt, dried beer, marmite

Black Gold - black garlic, sweet wild mushrooms

(r?)1, (r?)1, Baby - pure rye whiskey, chestnut

SWEET chocolates
La Crema - Del Maguey mescal, banana

Butters - butternut squash, maple

Baccus - Texas cabernet, golden raisin

V.Y.T.V.V. - violets, almond

Q - quince, candied ginger

Hill Country - Zip Code honey, lavender, Dallas Mozz. Co. goat crema

Speaking of friends, we hosted a New Year party today and had about 50 friends, neighbors, and family drop by and share good food, drink, laughter, and love. I can't think of a nicer way to start 2012. This might have to become an annual tradition.

And resolutions, well, I have a few. Some are specific, others more vague ideals that I plan to strive toward. Just to toss out a few...
Begin keeping a weekly Sabbath day as a family, Give regular piano lessons to the kids, Practice guitar for myself, Live honestly and authentically without allowing the approval or disapproval of others to form my identity, Spend time being still and quiet before God every day, and Run an event with a friend each month.

A Few Days Late

2011-12-30T18:11:00.003-06:00

I wanted so badly for Nate's second top tooth to fall out before Christmas.
The first one came out a couple of weeks before Christmas and miraculously the adult tooth had not started growing in yet. If that second one had come out he would have had the perfect "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" look. But it was not to be. Too bad there aren't any New Year's songs about missing teeth.

Camera Fun

2011-12-30T12:56:00.008-06:00

I got two fun camera accessories this Christmas. I have been playing with them a lot! The first was a fisheye lens Cody thought I would enjoy. It's really cool because it has a macro lens as part of it. You can remove the fisheye and use the macro alone, or use them together. They screw onto the end of my usual camera lens. I am totally clueless about how to use this fisheye lens but that didn't stop me from trying. If anyone has some tips on how to use this kind of lens please feel free to enlighten me...I've been scouring the web for information as well.

First I played with the fisheye lens at my in-laws' house. What is so neat about it is that, for example, in this tree photo below I am holding the camera literally an inch from the tree, but it captures so much more than the tree.

By the way, is that not the coolest gingerbread creation ever? Cody's mom has a dear friend who creates a gingerbread works of art as a gift every year. I have seen all kinds of amazing creations over the past 15 years...I can't begin to tell you how cool they have all been. This year she made a row of townhouses that's about a foot tall and 2 feet across. And of course it isn't curved as the fisheye lens makes it appear, but that lens does get it all into the frame like nobody's business.

I continued playing with the fisheye lens on an impromptu camping trip we took this week. We had the most beautiful campsite next to a lake...more on that to come!

My other fun new accessory is a tripod! I set about capturing the sunset at the lake and can't wait to try other shots that require long exposures. This is going to be fun. Oh, and it will come in handy for getting group shots of the family...like that mustache shot I mentioned earlier. I need to get on that.

The Joy of Giving

2011-12-29T21:17:00.002-06:00

I wasn't the only one who hit the nail on the head as far as gift giving was concerned this year. Ava's ear piercing was a home run, but so were the fake mustaches Ava gave Nate. He loved them! And the entire family enjoyed seeing him sporting a 'stash. There are still 5 left in the package and if it wouldn't annoy Nate too much, I'd really like to stick one on each of us and get a family photo taken. Yes, it would be cheesy, but it would probably make me giggle every time I looked at it for the rest of my life.

And will you look at this beautiful, amazing work of art my sister-in-law made for me? She used a photo I took of my three kids looking out into the ocean, did something to it through photoshop, then painstakingly cut it out to place on a background and frame. I just can't believe how gorgeous it is and how much it looks like them...their silhouettes are perfect! I will always treasure this!

Christmas Surprise

2011-12-27T12:30:00.002-06:00

I have so many things to write about! I guess I'll start with one of my favorite moments from gift opening on Christmas morning.

Ava has been asking to get her ears pierced for a while now. I originally thought 13 would be a good age for it (which is, coincidentally, the age I had it done.) I had recently come down to age 10. And then when we were trying to decide what to get for her this year I figured 9 isn't too much different from 10...why not completely catch her off guard and surprise her with a note saying she can get her ears pierced? Along with the note we wrapped up some pretty earrings and a lovely jewelry box.

I knew she was going to be surprised, and I also knew she would be thrilled. I am so glad I captured that progression of emotions as she opened her gift!

I treasure these expressions on her face! It was one of the most exciting moments of Christmas for me. It was THE most exciting moment for her, I think. And the very next day we went to the mall and had it done. I must admit that part didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. She was more nervous than I expected, but it's done and she is happy about it.

What a special memory for us both. I am so thankful for this precious little girl and all the joy she brings to us.

Christmas

2011-12-24T14:58:00.003-06:00

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O hears the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King, Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise us,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,
His power and glory evermore proclaim.
His power and glory evermore proclaim.

My prayer is this: Father, may I find my worth and identity in you alone, release me from sin, reveal your strength in my weakness, teach me to love, let my life be a song of praise to you. Amen.

Picture with Santa

2011-12-22T17:10:00.003-06:00

There's Classic...

There's Cute...

And there's Sweet...

And then, there's what I got...

Well, priceless! Sometimes classic, cute, and sweet are overrated. Besides, my little skeleton ran up to me today out of the blue, threw his arms around my neck, and belted out in true Mariah Carey fashion "All I want for Christmas is you!"

New Slippers

2011-12-22T09:29:00.002-06:00

Well, I thought I'd make some little pink slippers for my baby niece, but as I was stitching along I realized they were going to be way too big for her but just about right for Ava...

Now Ava has new slippers.

New Hat

2011-12-21T10:13:00.003-06:00

I let Ava pick out yarn yesterday for a new hat and she chose purple with a hint of sparkle in it. I found a pattern with a lot of texture to it, something I had never tried before, and a couple of hours later...Ava had a new hat!

Ava's Big Idea

2011-12-20T10:14:00.002-06:00

One of Ava's favorite things to do this time of year is go to the dollar store and buy gifts for the entire family (10 people, because this includes her grandparents and Cody's brother's family). She uses her own money, and she chooses each gift carefully and thoughtfully. Her face absolutely lights up with joy as she does this. Then she brings the treasures home, holes up in her room with wrapping supplies, turns her Christmas music on, and wraps for about a solid hour. I have rarely seen her more excited or happy. Well, except for when we all open our gifts from her on Christmas Eve. She delights in our joy in receiving her gifts.

However, her face did fall slightly this year as Cody explained she needed $11 rather than $10 in order to pay for tax. "Tax? Why do we have to pay tax?" she wondered out loud. Cody explained that it's the way the city makes money. "Why don't they just have a bunch of lemonade stands?" she asked. I totally think she should hang onto that idea and use it in her campaign for mayor one day.

Flannel Sheets and Google

2011-12-19T08:00:00.002-06:00

Every night when I slip into bed the same thought runs through my mind: I am so glad I bought these flannel sheets! They aren't fancy or expensive (I think I bought them on clearance at Target several years ago for a ridiculously low price like $10.) But they sure are warm. It's the coziest feeling in the world. I hate the feeling of getting into bed on a cold winter night if the sheets are regular cotton because they feel like ice for about 10 minutes until your body heat finally warms them up. This got Cody and me discussing why in the world flannel sheets feel so much warmer than cotton sheets. I mean, the sheets are the same temperature.

This led to what is quickly becoming a pattern in our house...a joint google search. It seems like Cody and I are always raising strange questions (usually in the evening after the kids have gone to bed and we're hanging out talking) which we then try to look up on google to satisfy our curiosity.

We've looked up the definition of fruits and vegetables and discovered that almost all the vegetables we eat are really fruits. We have looked up whether or not people can make cheese out of human milk. (The answer is yes, and it has been done with mixed reviews...) We look up famous people we happen to think about...incidentally, Jonathan Taylor Thomas has graduated from college, from Columbia to be exact. I knew he was way old enough to have graduated from college but Cody was unsure. I won that bet.

Some things are simple to look up, but other things are nearly impossible. It's hard sometimes to figure out the right phrase to type into google in order to find the information needed. Typing in "why are flannel sheets warmer than cotton?" revealed nothing. I had a similar problem last night as I tried to figure out why the planes that hit the twin towers did not go completely through the towers. I got to thinking that a huge heavy plane traveling hundreds of miles per hour would come out the other side of a building as thin as those towers. I want to read something that explains why it would become lodged inside without exiting. But I could not figure out a phrase to type into google that would bring up anything even remotely like this.

It's amazing to have this kind of information at our fingertips any time we raise some kind of random question. We usually don't even have to get up. We just grab the ipad that is sitting somewhere near one of us and start searching. Even the times that I am not able to find the answer (which is rare) I'm sure to find something else just as interesting.

My Turn

2011-12-18T16:00:00.004-06:00

Time to confess: Baking and decorating sugar cookies with the kids is hard on me. I do enjoy watching them have fun as their creative little spirits dump mounds of sparkles and sprinkles in half-hazard ways onto misshapen messily-frosted cookies. But, inside I am thinking about how I would decorate the cookies. I dream of the ways I would like to place the frosting and designs just so. I imagine a plate of beautifully decorated cookies and how fun it would be to create them.

So this year, I finally got smart and made myself a batch of sugar cookies after the kids went to bed one night and decorated to my heart's content. I had a blast! And the recipe I used was delicious. I got it here at allrecipes.com and the only thing I added was a bit of lemon zest. I also found a good buttercream frosting recipe here. These cookies tasted similar to the fabulous cookie bouquets Cody and I have received a couple of times.

Now, I can help the kids make their own sugar cookies sometime this week without even a twinge of jealousy or horror on my part. They can do whatever they want to the cookies they make, and I'll be fine with it. Go ahead and pour a tiny mountain of sprinkles in one spot, kids! Glob the frosting on in a smear! I had my turn and now you can have yours!

I think it's going to be very freeing for all of us.

Book Gift?

2011-12-17T13:56:00.002-06:00

Looking for the perfect book to give as a present? Check out the books I've read in 2011 to see which ones I thought were winners...and which were losers.

I did not read as many books this year as usual (I think I was up to 80 something last year) and that trend will probably continue. I am still reading quite a bit, but I've taken on some new interests and hobbies also that cut into reading time.

As always, I appreciate a good recommendation. If you've read a great book that you think I might enjoy, be sure to post a comment!

Ornaments

2011-12-16T08:54:00.005-06:00

Just a few of my favorites that adorn the tree...

What?

2011-12-15T08:36:00.002-06:00

Now I've seen it all, I guess. I was shopping online at Landsend.com last night and did a double-take when I saw this little ad in the corner of the screen. A play on words involving shopping and Advent? Really? As if those two things belong together...at all! I confess I felt kind of dirty, uncomfortable, like maybe I should stop shopping right that second and concentrate on what this time of year is really about. Marketing Fail, Landsend, since this little blurb made me want to do anything BUT buy and spend. In fact, it is still bothering me today.

Facebook

2011-12-14T12:48:00.002-06:00

I'm removing myself from Facebook. It's just something I feel called to do right now. I am not even completely sure why, but it's something that has been tugging at me for a while and I need to listen to that voice. I think it has something to do with my strong desire for authentic, meaningful relationships. I don't think there is anything wrong with Facebook, and I really enjoy seeing what people are up to (friends ranging from elementary school to the people who sit next to me on Sunday mornings...) but right now I want to focus on absolute reality. I want to have cups of coffee with people in the flesh, invite families into my home, have conversations over a glass of wine, exchange letters, talk on the phone, and spend quality time together with whomever is led into that kind of friendship with me. I don't even want a hint of conflict of motivation in me, to feel the slightest bit like I am just "keeping up appearances." I want a simple, meaningful, real existence. For some reason, in order to focus on that, I feel the need to give up some other things.

I figure if someone misses me online, they know how to reach me in real life. And I hope a few people do reach me, as I also reach out. I'm starting with the most important people in my life...Cody and the kids. I want to make sure I am present and available to them in every way possible. Lucas asked me today "Do you know why I love Christmas so much?" I was 99% sure he was about to say it was because of the presents but instead he said, "Because it cancels everything." I was a little confused. What do you mean it cancels everything? He replied," It cancels school, it cancels work for Daddy, we can all be together." Yep. I want to be together. I want to know people and I want people to know me. It's not about a 25 word status or a check in at In N Out Burger...it's about my heart and the hearts of those around me.

I may miss the instant connection I can get, almost a quick fix, by checking Facebook...but I am hoping I find a sense of calm in focusing my energy on deeper interactions. I don't think everyone would have to cancel their account in order to do this, but I do. That's just me at this point in my life. And if you'd like to know more, let's meet for a cup of coffee.

Old Hymns

2011-12-13T14:21:00.002-06:00

We don't sing enough old hymns in church anymore.

I'm all for progress, and I can accept change, and I like the newer kinds of songs we seem to sing these days...I really do!

But just look at these excerpts from a few old hymns and tell me we don't need to sing these words and meditate on them every once and a while...

Be Thou my vision, o Lord of my heart. Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art. Thou my best thought, by day or by night, waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul, each thought and each motive beneath his control. Thus led by his spirit to fountains of love, thou soon shall be fitted for service above.

Bring Christ your broken life, so marred by sin. He will create anew, make whole again. Your empty wasted years he will restore, and your iniquities remember no more. (okay, we did sing this one a couple of weeks ago and it touched me deeply.)

That's just 3 examples out of a wealth of great old hymns. I'm not saying we need to bring back all the old hymns...I'd be fine if I never sing I'll Fly Away ever again. And can we please pretend the song Jesus Is Coming Soon (AKA Troublesome Times are Here) never existed? Just bring back the ones with really good words, especially those which are also set to good music. Yep, those are the ones we need! Someone care to make a list and fax it to all the song leaders out there?

Thanks.

A MUST read by Henri Nouwen

2011-12-11T07:21:00.002-06:00

I get daily writings sent via email from the Henri Nouwen foundation, and lately I have received a weekly advent reflection as well.
I have not read anything better than what follows below in a long time. Read it and be blessed.

Where Peace is Hidden
Third Sunday of Advent—December 11

Keep your eyes on the prince of peace, the one who doesn't cling to his divine power; the one who refuses to turn stones into bread, jump from great heights and rule with great power; the one who says, "Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness; blessed are the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness" (see Matt. 5:3-11); the one who touches the lame, the crippled, and the blind; the one who speaks words of forgiveness and encouragement; the one who dies alone, rejected and despised. Keep your eyes on him who becomes poor with the poor, weak with the weak, and who is rejected with the rejected. He is the source of all peace.

Where is this peace to be found? The answer is clear. In weakness. First of all, in our own weakness, in those places of our hearts where we feel most broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. Why there? Because there our familiar ways of controlling our world are being stripped away; there we are called to let go from doing much, thinking much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are weakest the peace which is not of this world is hidden.

In Adam's name I say to you, "Claim that peace that remains unknown to so many and make it your own. Because with that peace in your heart you will have new eyes to see and new ears to hear and gradually recognize that same peace in places you would have least expected."

Adam's Story: The Peace That Is Not Of This World, Henri J.M. Nouwen. ©The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. First published in Weavings, March- April 1988. Also published in Seeds of Hope, ed. Robert Durback, Doubleday Religion, a division of Random House, Inc
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It you haven't yet, we invite you to participate in our Advent Campaign to further the legacy of Henri Nouwen.

Remember us as you plan your end of year giving.

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www.henrinouwen.org

Questions

2011-12-10T06:49:00.003-06:00

A few months ago, it was brought to my attention that Jesus asked a ton of questions in scripture. It seems like a lot of times he even taught with questions, not detailed dialogues. I was encouraged in a study to think about what question Jesus might be asking me...right now. Since I do believe God's Word is living and active, the idea that a question might be being asked of me isn't beyond my belief. I figured if I spent some time praying, quiet and listening, I may hear a question specific to my heart and life.

The first thing I did was look up a list of questions Jesus asked. I didn't realize how many there are! This site lists 100 of them. I thought about pasting the list here, but it's very long. I read over the list, thinking a bit of context might be helpful for a few of them, then I spent time sitting still and listening.

It didn't take long at all to hear, clearly, the question Jesus was asking me personally. He asked, "Am I enough for you?"
Maybe that seems like an odd question, but to me it was exactly what needed to be asked. What do I think I need besides Jesus? And for a long time there have been many things on that list. Do I need people to think or feel a certain way about me? Do I need to appear to have it all together? Do I need to achieve something career-wise or gain respect from peers? Maybe I need to own a few special items, or feel safe financially. I realized I had a long list of things I "needed" and I was forced to confront the question "Can I be satisfied, fully content, with only Jesus...even if I have none of these other things?"

I have wrestled with that question now, and continue to hear it being asked in my life. Sometimes I even repeat the phrase "Is God enough for me?" while I jog to force myself to come to a conclusion and live by it. It hasn't been an easy question to hear and meditate on, but it has been revealing and instructive to me.

I could stop there, having disclosed something fairly personal. Or, I could go ahead and prompt the reader to think about the possibility that God may have a question for your heart as well. I have no idea what it might be, but a curious soul could sit and listen for a bit and probably find out. My only warning is that it might not be comfortable, but it is definitely worth it.

Can I Get Your Opinion...?

2011-12-08T13:14:00.006-06:00

I have become, almost over night, the crazy woman at the store who will talk to anyone and ask random strangers' opinions on what she is about to buy.

I've been fairly demure my entire adult life. (Insert various college roommates and current friends shaking their heads at this choice of words...) Ok, maybe not demure...definitely not shy, but I will tell you emphatically I rarely talk to strangers. Until lately. Now I talk to them all the time.

I asked a lady in the dressing area at TJ Maxx if she thought my butt looked okay in the jeans I was trying on. She told me it looked fine, but what could she really say, huh? Even strangers probably draw the line at telling someone a pair of jeans makes their rear look like a highway billboard sign. So, I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish by asking, but I did feel better about buying the jeans based on her unbiased (though perhaps censored) opinion.

I engaged a woman AND her mother in a long conversation at Hobby Lobby recently about whether they felt a particular bow I wanted to purchase was okay for outdoor use. They actually got into a bit of a disagreement over it. The daughter said her mother used some just like it outside, which the mother repeatedly denied. I finally had to side with the daughter and purchased it to use on the wreath hanging above our garage door.

Days earlier, I had asked a different pair of ladies at Home Depot if they could tell much difference between said wreath (which was 36 inches in diameter) and another wreath that was 30 inches. They agreed the size looked almost identical but warned me against the glittery stuff on the 30 incher. "It's just going to wear off quickly," they said. So I bought the 36 inch wreath and am very happy with it every time I pull in and out of the driveway.

What has gotten into me? I used to be able to make purchasing decisions completely on my own. I agonized between choices, but I never enlisted the help of random neighboring shoppers. It's getting worse and worse, too. I'm on a downhill slide as far as my frequency of bugging other shoppers. Though to be honest, none of them (except that mother in the mother/daughter pair) seem too bothered by it. In fact, I've had some pleasant conversations about what wines are good, and how long to expect that cinnamon scent to last on those bags of pine cones available all over this time of year.

It's kind of nice to chat with the people I happen to come across while out and about. It makes the world seem a little friendlier. And a second opinion about a prospective purchase can't hurt. So, does anyone else do this besides me? Have the strangers been steering you right with their opinions?

God Within

2011-12-07T09:53:00.003-06:00

Peel back the layers

like an onion

to the burning place within

where words are helpless

to capture the pulse of existence.

Like burning white hot fire

is the Spirit of God

that dares make his home

in broken, dusty shells of man

unworthy of such a gift.

Dull ears, blind eyes, hard hearts

can you sense what is within you?

Do not flesh and bones cry out

in frightened awe that

the breath of God is present here?

My mind cannot capture his image.

My heart cannot contain his love.

My lips cannot convey his power.

Yet he claims my very being

as his holy temple.

Congrats

2011-12-06T12:21:00.003-06:00

The winner of the book Jesus Calling is....Jenni!

Thanks to all of you who entered.

Jenni, the book will be in the mail shortly.

If you didn't win, it's not too late to add this little book to your Christmas list because it will truly bless your life and open your heart to the deep love God has for you.

Love

2011-12-05T10:01:00.003-06:00

When I run on the treadmill at the gym, I watch the Bravo channel on TV. I feel lucky if a reality cooking competition is playing. I'm bummed if it's a stupid reality show about single people living in Dallas or like today, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or wherever they are. These women have it all, but I noticed that their marriages are crumbling and miserable.

It got me thinking about how it doesn't matter if you've got $50 in the bank or $50,000, the killer for a marriage is and always will be the same thing: Selfishness. Selfishness kills any relationship. Any time a person has the mindset of what can I get out of this, how can I get my needs met, how are you going to fulfill me...there's a problem.

The opposite of selfishness is, of course, Love. Love is wanting what's best for another person even if it costs you something. And I use the word cost loosely because it probably won't be monetary (though it could be). It might cost your pride, time, wants, comfort, etc. I guess in a perfect world, couples would fight over who gets to be more sacrificial. It kind of makes me bristle to read that. Why should I be more sacrificial? What if I get walked all over...I better assert my rights! Ah, selfishness creeping back into my thoughts.

Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Ps 119:36

Then he said to them all "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Cor 10:24

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves. Phil 2:3

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Jesus Calling...for Kids

2011-12-04T20:34:00.002-06:00

I'm so excited because I found out there is a kids' version of the daily devotional book "Jesus Calling". I ordered it and received it two days later and now the kids and I are starting off each day by reading from that book together. Ava and Nate take turns doing the reading. The one that doesn't read the main paragraph gets to look up one of the associated Bible verses at the bottom of the page and read it aloud. Lucas can't take a turn reading yet, but he likes to listen.

They are enjoying this and have told me these are "good things to think about"...those are Ava's exact words.

I have a great feeling about this new morning tradition.

Christmas Give-away

2011-12-01T08:15:00.002-06:00

Welcome to December!

Anyone who knows me knows that my give-away would have to involve a book. This isn't just any book, though. This is a book that has blessed my life in ways I find difficult to express through words.

Even the story of how I came to be in possession of this book is special and touched with mystery and grace. A few months ago, quotes and mentions of this small devotional book titled Jesus Calling began turning up in my life. I became intrigued and borrowed the book from a friend so I could look through it. The background: A woman named Sarah Young decided to write daily snippets of encouragement based on Scripture. These snippets are written in first person, from God, as if He were speaking directly to you. They are short but powerful. I am touched every morning as I read, and I have grown more aware of God's presence and love for me by leaps and bounds. About a month ago, I was having a tough morning, and a woman at church ministered to me with prayer and conversation. I didn't even know her. The next week, I was still feeling troubled and I found myself asking God to give me some reassurance that he was still there, still listening, still caring. Would you believe this woman who I had only met the week before came up to me and handed me a beautiful copy of Jesus Calling and said she just felt like I needed to have this book. She had no idea how meaningful that book had become to me or that it represented God's presence to me.

I knew right then that was a message from God that he was of course still near, still present, still loving, and still caring for me.

I returned the copy I had been borrowing to my friend, and now I read my own dear little copy that sits on my nightstand. I want to continue to pass it on, as it was passed on to me, and give a copy of this sweet book to one of you.

All you have to do is leave a comment. I will choose a name at random on Tuesday Dec. 6 at noon. You will receive your copy of the book that same week because yours truly has a free AmazonPrime 2-day shipping trial going on right now. Yes!

I realize a lot of people might already own this book- it seems kind of popular (although I had never heard of it until recently.) I would encourage you to go ahead and enter the contest. If you win the book, give it to a friend. It might end up being the same kind of blessing to them as it was to me.

For the Person Who Has Everything...

2011-11-30T13:01:00.003-06:00

why not a giant inflatable radio-controlled flying shark?

Flashback (and a Reminder)

2011-11-30T08:19:00.002-06:00

I stumbled upon this very old blog post from June 2007 and it happened to be just what I needed to see today.

I'm pausing to think how each stage of the kids' lives comes with its very own set of difficulties and joys. Back when I wrote this post, I was barely getting sleep and overwhelmed by the demands of 3 tiny children who needed help with almost everything! Today I am sometimes overwhelmed by the seemingly constant sibling rivalry, the bickering and arguing over little things.

But in both cases, there is a sense of joy beyond words. I have 3 marvelous children! Each of them so beautiful, unique, gifted, and loving.

I tried to capture it almost 5 years ago in a short simple poem. I try to capture it today and store it in my heart. The time goes by so quickly, and I long to enjoy each moment and appreciate it fully.

Princess, dress-up, ballet dancing
Loving, learning, twirling, prancing
Little mother, sweet and smart
A girl right after her Mama's heart

Constant motion, climbing, falling
Trucks, cars, buttons, basket-balling
Rough and tumble with a sensitive side
Can you feel your Mama's pride?

Sleeping, crying, contented sighs
peach-fuzz hair and thunder thighs
Soft and gentle, brown eyes wide
Treasures that Mama stores up inside.

Leap of Faith (in Crocheting)

2011-11-29T08:20:00.003-06:00

Oh I have become quite the expert on crocheting scarves. I've pumped out dozens in the last couple of months. Here is an extra soft and fuzzy pastel scarf I made for Ava a few weeks ago. She loves it!
But I had an itch to try something harder. I wanted to go for something I had never tried before...a sweater. Just the idea filled me with fear. Looking at patterns confirmed I was over my head. But then...I found this pattern and for once I said to myself I think I can do that. I bought the yarn and then I was committed to at least try. To my surprise, it wasn't really that difficult to make. I did have trouble understanding how to make one of the stitches, but I looked up a different explanation on google that cleared it up for me.

Ta-Da! A sweater for Ava!

I can totally see this over sleeveless dresses next Spring.

It only took about 3-4 hours and I had a lot of fun trying something totally new. Plus it gave me some confidence to try some even trickier patterns in the future.

And of course there is a joy involved with making something from scratch- no matter what it is- knowing that you formed materials into something beautiful or useful...or both!

Fun Running Idea

2011-11-24T22:36:00.003-06:00

Like a lightening bolt, an idea hit me last week, and I am super excited about it.

Background: Running and I have a complicated relationship. It's sort of a love/hate kind of thing. Mostly the hating part which stemmed from my mental hang-ups about trying to be good enough (fast enough, able to go long distances, etc.) For some reason, as I got more and more into running, it became too competitive in my own mind. It became a measure of my value as a person. I know that is stupid, and I am certainly not proud of it. I was beating myself up all the time, comparing myself to others, and basically miserable.

Then, I got the horrible leg injury that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It forced me to stop for a while, then go slowly. Along the way I learned to love myself, and love my body's running ability for what it is instead of what I thought it should be. Suddenly, my knee pain is completely gone. I happen to believe that it is miraculous. I learned the lessons I was meant to learn and God removed it. I'm sure some people would find that difficult to believe, but I can find hardly any other explanation. I hurt for a very long time and then it was better.

This brings me to my great new idea. I'd like to keep my focus on what's important (having fun running and enjoying its mental and physical benefits without berating myself.) I'd like to run one race event per month in 2012 and each event with a different friend. 12 events. 12 friends. 12 charities supported. 12 fun mornings (perhaps in fun locations...road trip!). 12 memorable times that encourage viewing running as a pleasure (you bet I'll be blogging about each of them.) This isn't going to be about pace, or improvement, or meeting new distance goals. It's going to be about relationships.

In fact, I am hoping that at least a couple of the friends who join me for an event next year might be running their first ever 5K. I would love to be able to encourage someone to attempt something new without fear of failure or unreasonable self-demands.

I'm guessing that over the course of the year I might even learn a thing or two more about acceptance, peace, friendship, joy, and just appreciating life's blessings. Maybe someone reading this right now is interested in running an event with me next year- well, let me know! I've got some wonderful friends, and I'm looking forward to spending time with them in this special way.

Lucas is Thankful

2011-11-23T08:22:00.002-06:00

Each night at dinner, everyone in the family has been writing something they are thankful for on a paper and hanging it on our "thankful tree." Mr. Independent (AKA Lucas) wants to do this totally on his own. Since no one is allowed to help him, he has been writing the only few words he knows how to spell all by himself. That is why our thankful tree has the following items scrawled in 4 year old handwriting: MAMA, CAT, and TACO.

Picnic in the Cemetery

2011-11-22T09:50:00.002-06:00

I've mentioned before that I visited an old family cemetery in September. I've been thinking about that day and how quiet it was there. I had to drive far on rutted dirt roads to reach this small, rural place. I was completely alone.

The cemetery is surprisingly well-kept. Fabric flowers adorned many of the graves. There was even a small, locked building on the site with wooden pews piled up in a corner. A flag waved proudly on a tall flagpole. At the far edge was a concrete block "outhouse" complete with a men's side and women's side. I was glad to see it because I really needed to pee. But the only nice thing about that bathroom area was the privacy of those concrete walls and the fact that they blocked the wind. I could see through the toilet seat to the ground below, and there was no toilet paper of course.

I walked around a bit before settling in next to my grandparent's grave. I wished I had brought a blanket. The ground was slightly damp, so I actually sat on the tiny edge of their marker. I wondered if that was offensive, but quickly felt at ease. My grandparents wouldn't mind me sitting on their tombstone! I pulled out my sandwich and chips and began to eat.

As I ate I thought about all the meals my grandmother prepared for me. Her hands made tons of food over her lifetime, just as my own hands work long hours creating meals for my family. The sandwich I had brought was bland, even difficult to chew, while reminiscing on the swiss steak and fried okra my grandmother used to make for me. I thought about how I've been fed, in physical and non-physical ways, so that the people who fed me became a part of me that lives on even after they have died. I wondered about the ways I have fed and will feed my children and grandchildren so that I might become a part of them that lives on.

Suddenly, though my thoughts were full of family and my grandparents, I felt very alone. The cemetery became a cold and lonely place as I pictured the heat radiating from my body being the only source of heat in the entire place. Everywhere, except for me, was cold and empty. I was in a lifeless place. None of those people whose names were displayed in stone were there.

It was unsettling at first. The finality of death swept over me with a shock like a splash of cold water in the face.

However, I began to think about what lies beyond death of the body. The finality of death for this earthly body can't be disputed, but what new things greet the spirit as it sheds this skin? I don't know exactly what that looks like or how it happens. I won't know until I experience it one day. I have no fear of it though, because I believe my spirit is in God's hands. Death is not a culturally acceptable concept. We don't usually talk about it much or think about it as an inevitability unless it happens to have us or a loved one in its grip.

I appreciated the time I spent contemplating death while chewing on a dry sandwich, my rear almost falling off the sliver of concrete tombstone, surrounded by the names of my ancestors in a small country cemetery in the middle of nowhere. A healthy look at death might even make some difference in the way I view life.

Gifts for Runners

2011-11-21T15:43:00.005-06:00

Just in time for Black Friday (I never shop on Black Friday, by the way...) a list of great gifts for the runner in your life. 3 out of 5 of these items are on my Christmas list.

This smart water bottle has a removable lid and bottom for optimal washability.

I would love to pick out some new running tunes for my iphone and shuffle.

My same ol' songs are getting boring.

Any runner can use new shoes. Lots of folks have a certain brand they love.

I never was loyal to a particular shoe, but I think that's about to change.

I tried on the Brooks Ravenna 2 today and it is amazing! Can't wait to own a pair.

These Nike dri-fit capris are just right. Not too loose or snug.

Not only are they great for running, but also classes at the gym.

(Need these for doing leg lifts on the floor at body sculpting...)

My favorite running shirt store is onemoremilerunning.com.

Pick a witty saying for the runner you love. I have the shirt below in navy.

It's perfect for me.

Crochet Slippers

2011-11-19T10:28:00.004-06:00

I admit, I am in some kind of crazy crocheting mood lately. I was browsing pinterest and saw a pattern for these cute slippers and knew I had to make them. The pattern is not extremely difficult, but I did make one slipper that I didn't like much first before I really got the hang of it. I can even tell a big difference between the second one I made (on the right) and the third one which is on the left...that is the one where I felt I totally got it and was fully pleased with what I had made. It only takes a couple of hours to whip up a pair of these and the website has patterns for kids' slippers, too. I would have to add puffy paint to the bottom of the ones for kids though because they are quite slippery.

Now the question is, do I have the guts to tackle a cute little sweater for Ava? The pattern claims to be "easy" but there is a lot involved that I have never done before.

Mine may not look as perfect as the picture above on the pattern website, but maybe it'll be close!

Taste of Fall

2011-11-16T11:16:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I got the urge to cook something special for dinner. I have no idea why, but the three words that sprang to mind were butternut squash ravioli. It just sounded so good to me. The internet is a perfect resource for finding good recipes, and it definitely didn't disappoint this time. I found this fantastic recipe for Roasted Butternut Squash Ravioli with a Sage Brown Butter Sauce on Food Network. Half the fun was casually perusing the aisles at Central Market with Lucas gathering the ingredients for my dish. I bought several items I had never bought before like fresh sage and wonton wrappers. See, I decided not to make the pasta part of the dish because several reviewers mentioned wonton wrappers worked great and were much simpler. I highly recommend that route to anyone who wants to try and make this ravioli. It really is a simple recipe and they tasted....heavenly.

I also recommend doubling the filling part of the recipe, making extra raviolis, then freezing them on a tray of some kind. After a couple of hours they can be placed in a freezer safe baggie and used for a meal another day. You might as well do this because you'll have plenty of roasted squash and wonton wrappers.

I wish I could describe the flavor of this ravioli. The squash, mixed with whipping cream, shallots, and finely grated parmesan-reggiano cheese topped with pure butter and small crispy sage leaves...it was a real treat.

Baby Afghan

2011-11-15T15:36:00.004-06:00

I'm going to be an aunt again in February (my brother's first baby!) My excitement over this news teamed up with my excitement about crocheting to produce this adorable little baby afghan. I had to make it yellow because those 2 stinkers are not finding out the gender before the baby is born. But that's okay. Yellow is beautiful, and everybody likes a little mystery.

The above photo was on the Lion Brand website where I found the pattern. It uses a thick, soft, almost cord-like yarn that is easy to wash and dry. And the stitch is quick and easy to do. I had a lot of fun working on this especially knowing my little niece or nephew would be wrapped up in it sometime. In fact, I am secretly hoping this becomes The Blankie that the baby prefers and loves and must carry everywhere in order for anyone to get a good night's sleep. We will see if my dream comes true.
Here is what my finished product looks like. Look at the cute little edging around it. I love this edging. As I was making that stitch and seeing the edging form I called Cody over to look at it. He wasn't nearly as excited about it as I thought it warranted. I mean, that edging is super cute! He merely noted it and went about his business, so I called him back over a few minutes later in hopes he would show a bit more awe. I finally gave up and called a girlfriend of mine who also crochets. She and I were able to gush appropriately over the cuteness of the edging.
I'm looking forward to meeting the sweet little one who will be wrapped in this blanket in a few months.

Weakness

2011-11-13T21:44:00.003-06:00

I'm pretty sure my favorite author and spiritual mentor, Henri Nouwen, struggled with depression until the day he died. It's strange to think that this man who obviously tapped into a deep understanding of God's love and presence and eloquently described it in writing that inspires millions couldn't overcome depressive tendencies.

But when I really think about it, it isn't so strange after all. I'm guessing that the reason he could grasp God's presence and power so acutely was because of his suffering and inadequacy. And I am starting to learn in my own life that victory isn't necessarily getting rid of or overcoming my weaknesses, but opening a space in my brokenness for the grace of God to enter in and abide.

I'm not the first to realize this by any means. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians about a "thorn in his flesh" that tormented him. He pleaded for God to remove it but God replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul decided to boast in his weakness even more so that "Christ's power may rest on me." Or how about in Romans 5 where the end product of suffering turns out to be...hope. "We glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Suffering and weakness are direct routes to knowing the hope and love of God. We've all got weaknesses. Think about those patterns that come up over and over that we can't seem to beat, solve, or think or talk our way through. And we have suffering in various degrees. Sometimes the suffering is even a result of our own weakness and sin. Instead of praying for my weaknesses to go away, I've started asking how I can allow God to walk with me in my weakness. I recognize that not only am I a mess, but I am likely to stay that way to some degree no matter what I do to "work on it." Maybe the bigger question is do I really want God to remove my weakness? Because it's through my weaknesses that I see my limitations and my need for something much much bigger than myself. Where I am the most broken, I see God's love for me most clearly. Where I feel the most powerless, I see God's power working in and through me most.

Nouwen did this. He was aware of his deep need for approval and acceptance. He knew this pattern caused tremendous disappointment and pain in his life. He also knew that the only thing that mattered was his identity as God's beloved. But being aware of all these things didn't magically make his weakness disappear. It was still there and he acknowledged it and felt its pull all the time. Because he acknowledged it, he could see God walking with him in the midst of his brokenness. And I know that he had that hope, the hope produced through perseverance in suffering, that one day he would be fully redeemed and at peace.

Too Good to Be True?

2011-11-10T09:50:00.002-06:00

We will soon find out! In 2 weeks I should be getting the glasses I just ordered for Cody and myself at Zinnioptical.com. A friend pointed me to this site where prescription glasses start at $6.95. That isn't a typo.

I have not had new glasses in 12 years. Since I don't use them very much (only at night after I take out my contacts), I never have gone to the trouble or expense to update them with my most current prescription. But lately, I had been wanting to get better glasses. So I went on the site, uploaded a photo of myself, and started "trying on" tons of different styles. I found some I liked and placed my order. While I was at it, I ordered Cody a pair of prescription sunglasses. Yep, they do that, too. My grand total for both pairs plus shipping was a whopping $32.00.

I can't wait to see how they turn out and if I am happy with them. I'll be sure to post an update when they arrive.

Panic

2011-11-09T12:20:00.002-06:00

Long story short, Ava asked to go several campsites away to visit with some friends one evening on our church camping trip. Unbeknownst to me, she ended up going on a hike with Cody and the boys and another family. Over an hour had gone by, and it had gotten very dark. I was concerned because the hikers weren't back yet, and also starting to think Ava needed to come back down to our site. So, I went to get her, but the first bunch of girls I came across said they had not seen her all evening. The second bunch of girls said the same thing.

Insert crazy mother here, screaming Ava's name and trying not collapse from fear while passages from The Shack play in her head and her heart jumps out of her chest.

Other adults were starting to panic with me as we began to go around to each tent and RV questioning people. I think I kept repeating "oh God, oh God, oh God where can she be?" I was almost certain she had gotten lost or been taken.

Finally someone said "I think she's on a hike..." and I jumped all over that. Is she on that hike? Is she on that hike? So we ran back down to have someone call the guy leading the hike Cody and the boys went on because Cody's phone wasn't getting through. He confirmed Ava was with them.

Insert crazy with relief mother here. Weeping, sobbing, heart still pounding, saying a million thank yous to God. I have never felt anything like the fear and relief I felt that night. My mind had already gotten to the place where it was asking what am I going to do when we don't find her? I don't think I need to tell you mothers out there that is not a good place to be.

I am so thankful that everything turned out okay, and I will probably be giving all the kids extra hugs for a few weeks.

Burn Ban

2011-11-08T11:50:00.002-06:00

A burn ban means my favorite part of camping, the campfire, is off limits. In this case, it also meant no charcoal cooking was allowed. I really couldn't believe the ban included charcoal. I had already bought steaks and marinated chicken before I found out! And I was really looking forward to practicing some dutch oven cooking.

I had to completely rethink my menu for the weekend to utilize our propane stove top. I finally had the idea to make super easy lemon pepper tilapia which all my kids love. All you do is dredge the tilapia filets in flour, sprinkle on lemon pepper, and fry a couple of minutes per side in hot oil. For dinner the second night, I made tacos and taco salad. We even made s'mores using the propane stove but they weren't nearly as good.

We did bring some Christmas lights and ball them up in the fire pit to resemble a fire. And it got so cold Friday night that several of us considered building a fire anyway and splitting the $500 fine if it came to it.

Camping

2011-11-07T16:18:00.003-06:00

Our family went camping at Tyler State Park with a big group from church. I feel like I've got a lot to share about this trip. The burn ban made life interesting, I learned how to cook a turkey in a trash can, the 3 mile hilly loop kicked my running butt, and I lost Ava for about the scariest 10 minutes of my life. But for now I'll just post a few of my favorite "nature shots." The park was stunning this time of year.

Mind and Heart

2011-11-03T06:44:00.005-05:00

"The longest journey a man must make is the 18 inches from his head to his heart." -Unknown

I might have the most active mind on the planet. That isn't bragging because my mind isn't busy finding the cure for cancer or strategizing how to end famine in Africa. My mind is usually busy rehashing past events, worrying about the future, devising arguments, rationalizations, or defenses for myself...or my favorite absurdity, holding pretend conversations with people about our unresolved issues.

I don't want to live life in my head though. I would much rather live it in my heart. But like the quote above says, it isn't easy to drag our existence from the mind to the heart. Mine is almost always kicking and screaming the entire way. Henri Nouwen tells the story of a man who repeated the phrase "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner" hundreds of thousands of times until one day the man found that the phrase was repeating itself with every beat of his heart. It had become a part of his emotional make-up. It was no longer a thought, or even words, but an internalized piece of who he was as a person.

Some things come naturally to my heart. When I look at my kids, I am full of love for them. I don't go through a list of pros or cons of loving them, or analyze anything about how I feel about them or how I can know what I feel about them is true. It just is. I would love to experience the peace of God the same way I experience love for my kids. Sometimes I do have a taste of that peace that passes understanding. Sometimes my heart is full of calm and rest that has absolutely nothing to do with my thoughts but is the direct experience of God's presence. However, that isn't my default mode.

I would like to experience love, joy, peace, and even pain, loneliness, and sorrow in my heart as internalized realities separate from and transcending the knowledge of them in my mind. I think it takes practice. And in a lot of ways, I think it takes courage. The mind can hold things at a distance, but the heart is vulnerable. This is why people can quote entire passages of scripture and attend church 3 times a week for decades but fail to be moved by the photo of a starving child or fail to be grieved over a sin in their life. I know that because I've lived there. I've known things in my mind but failed to move them to the heart.

What has helped me is starting to think of my heart as the place where God exists within me or as my "home." Again, I have to thank Nouwen for that analogy. And I have to come home over and over again, away from the analyzing and conceptualizing to the raw truth of experiencing things with God. Finding our way home gradually becomes easier, and we may stay at home for longer periods of time. But we can never be permanently at home in this lifetime. That's why the story of the prodigal son has come to mean so much to me. It is a constant homecoming, repeated over and over in my life and always with the same care, concern, and welcome from the Father who loves me more than I can imagine.

I ran across this quote on a friend's facebook status this morning:

"When we engage the Scriptures for spiritual transformation, we make it our top priority to listen to God relationally rather than seeking only to learn more about God cognitively. Our approach is driven by the longing of a lover. We read slowly so that we can savor each word and let its meaning sink in." - Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

I love how it contrasts cognitive and relational experience. I'm finding that slowing down, being still, quiet, and available for experiencing life with God in my inner place is deepening my sense of identity as a child of God.

Curly Scarf

2011-11-01T13:50:00.003-05:00

I finished another quick and easy scarf this week. I had been wanting to try making a curly scarf and I found this pattern on the Lion Brand website. I didn't use the type of yarn or exact hook size they recommended but I am still happy with how it turned out. So many crochet patterns are flexible that way. I'm going to make another one of these in a softer, thicker yarn and see what I think.

P.S. I'd like to thank my semi-professional photographer for the photo shoot that resulted in the above photo. He's available for bookings, but you have to work around his preschool schedule and supply him with twizzlers and root beer.

Playing with Photos

2011-10-31T13:27:00.002-05:00

I love taking photographs, but I love playing with them even more. We took an unexpected detour to a pumpkin patch last week, so I did not have my nice camera with me. But I was loving these adorable small round pumpkins all lined up on wooden bleachers so I snapped a pic with my iphone. I don't have the latest and greatest iphone, as evidenced by the photo below.
Because the photo seemed a bit blah to me, I loaded it into my favorite photography app on the ipad- Snapseed. Snapseed has some really cool features. One of them is simply called "Grunge." By sliding my finger across the photo on the screen, I can go through about 800 variations of color, distress, etc until I find the look that hits me. The options move by quickly, and it isn't an exact science, but it's a lot of fun.
I like my photo "grunged up" this way so much better. It's more interesting, has richer colors, and has a sense of spooky mystique befitting Halloween.

Majesty

2011-10-30T07:25:00.003-05:00

"Oh Lord, my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty. He wraps himself in light as with a garmet; he stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters. He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind." Ps. 104:1-3

Hat

2011-10-29T18:51:00.002-05:00

Just finished my latest project. I used super soft baby yarn and a size j hook to create a soft baby cap. Then I made a crocheted flower using this handy video tutorial a friend sent:

http://youtu.be/94vYpcZ3W64

The hat is too small for Lucas but I stretched it onto his head just to try to get a good photo of it. Thankfully I did have a sweet one year old over here today to test the hat on and confirm the circumference. Thanks for letting me borrow your baby, Rachel!

Divine Love

2011-10-26T21:05:00.005-05:00

I know. I just wrote about this hymn a couple of weeks ago. I'm sorry. I can't help but be drawn back to it again and again. And though I love the entire thing, it's those first lines that I can't ever get out of my head.

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

Tonight I was meditating on those lines for what feels like the millionth time and I felt compelled to write about why they affect me so deeply. It's just that they seem to sum up my entire belief system beautifully and in amazingly few words.

O Love that will not let me go: This has become, subconsciously at first, consciously now, my name for God. God has many names. Yahweh, I Am, the LORD, God, are the first few to come to mind. And no name our lips can utter or image our minds can project can even come near to the reality of what God is. But I have come to cling to the image/name of God as Love. The Divine Love. The absolute essence of pure love. Any love we experience on earth is merely a shadow of the True Love that is God. And the best part is that this Divine Love will not let me go. God always pursues me, persists in reaching toward me, never gives up on me. I know what it feels like to be rejected, to have someone decide I'm not worth the effort, to be let go. Divine Love will never do that to me. I am 100% unconditionally loved, desired, pursued, valued by God.

I rest my weary soul in thee: I am so thankful that I am finally at a place in life where I realize that I can't make myself into a better person. There is no possible way I can produce those beautiful fruits of the spirit everyone always likes to list all neat and perfectly in my own heart by my own super-praying power and Bible-reading gusto. I can't force myself to be more joyful, patient, or kind. I can do a few superficial acts here and there but my main goal is not to make myself into anything. I only want to rest in God's presence. I want to rest and soak up that Divine Love and know that hanging out with God is going to change my heart. It's his effort, not mine. And my soul really is weary- with sin and pain and sorrows and all kinds of diseased thinking that I don't know how to deal with. I am so glad to rest and hand it over to God.

I give thee back the life I owe: People give their lives to lots of things. In my case, I most often give it for myself. I want what I want and I think I know how to make myself happy. I chase my own whims and desires and it's never enough. I never feel fulfilled. And that is why I want to give my life to God, for his purposes, and stop trying to fill myself. I hand it over knowing that I can't be God...I am terrible at it. I want to be in control, but I know giving up control is the only way to the second part of this sentence...

That in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be: Getting submerged in the ocean of God's love is the only way I can live a truly rich, full, abundant life. God is so huge, holy, beautiful...and I just want to be a part of that. I'm nothing on my own. My efforts have always turned up empty. And I don't want to live in emptiness. I want that fullness that comes from knowing God intimately.

All of that captured in a few simple words.

Set to a beautiful melody.

Imprinted on my heart as truth to which I cling.

The Right Jeans

2011-10-26T17:04:00.002-05:00

I have never, not once, not one single time ever in my whole entire life, had a pair of jeans that I absolutely love. I've had jeans that are decent fitting, and some that I'd call comfortable, and plenty that were total disasters. Just once in my life, I would love to find that perfect pair of jeans. I'd even be willing to shell out big bucks for these mythical jeans...I say mythical because I am not quite sure they exist. I must have a weird body type. No jeans fit me right. I don't think I look exceptionally odd or unusual, but I am telling you, there is something difficult about my body when it comes to finding a good fit in jeans.

So last week I found this cool website called Zafu.com where they ask a ton of questions and try to match you up with the brands/styles of jeans that are most likely going to work for you. They ask all kinds of things about your body type (height, weight, shape), the goals you have for jeans (hide my muffin top, make my rear look smaller/bigger, etc), the styles you prefer (dark denim, straight leg, boot cut, etc) and then spit out a list of jeans in order of best to least matching.

It only takes about 5 minutes to fill out the questions, and I got a great looking list of jeans. One of the brands that popped up the most for me was Calvin Klein. They are reasonably priced, so I hope to go try some on soon and see if they indeed fit. Maybe I will finally have the perfect pair of jeans added to my Christmas list for this year. My fingers are crossed.

New Blog Design

2011-10-25T18:46:00.002-05:00

Boy have I had fun playing around with my blog design today. It just seemed like it was time for a change...so what do you think? Nothing is nailed down, yet, but I'm feeling pretty good about what I've done so far.

I'm trying to be a lot better about labeling posts by category so they are grouped together and easy to reference.

I'd love to hear any feedback or ideas for making this site better.

Or, just say "hi" and let me know you're there.

Can't Believe It

2011-10-25T10:21:00.002-05:00

I've been wearing contacts for over 20 years. I'm the kind of person who takes seriously the warning that sleeping with them in is really bad for my eyes. I hate to even close my eyes for a quick 30 minute nap if I have my contacts in. And when I have done it, my eyes get so dry that I can barely peel the contacts off again.

So how is it that after decades of conscientious contact wearing, I went to bed last night without taking them out? I just went to bed, without giving them a single thought, and slept the entire night with my contacts in my eyes. How is it even possible? What in the world happened to me?

I woke up this morning, and the world was a foggy mess when I opened my eyes. I was still half asleep and couldn't figure out what was going on, so I put my glasses on and the foggy mess got even worse. I was about a second away from panic when I suddenly thought... are my contacts in?? I reached up and gently touched one eye and could not believe I felt my contact there.

I immediately took them out and threw them away. Then I started planning how I'd live life as a blind person since I had just done the most awful thing in the world to my poor eyes. And yes, my eyes were hurting and dry. Thankfully, they returned to normal pretty quickly and I haven't noticed any far-reaching ill effects...so far.

Mostly, I am in shock. This is the kind of thing that makes me think, well, if I can forget to take my contacts out before I go to sleep, I could forget to get Lucas out of the car one hot summer day or something horrible like that.

I hate feeling like I am losing my mind!

Parade!

2011-10-24T14:22:00.007-05:00

Our local high school puts on the best parade every year at Homecoming. The kids talk about it all year long because it's one of the highlights of their year. It's a huge production, lasting almost a full hour and tossing about 4 million pounds of candy to the wide-eyed children lining the street.

So what makes a great parade? Well, I can't mention every single aspect, but here are a few:

Older women with knock-out legs!

These women were fabulous dancers, and though they aren't spring chickens, look at those killer legs! If I have legs like that in a decade or two (or three) I will be mighty happy about it.

Fire trucks

Who doesn't appreciate a fire truck up close and personal? Just lay off the blasting horn next time, please...it was a teeny bit too loud for us!

Mascots

Is that the mascot for RHS? I don't even know for sure, sorry! But it's a very cute horse.

Famous People!

This is #41 for Tampa Bay. It says so right on the autographed football he threw to Ava. It also has his name on there which we can't read at all. We have no idea who he is! But he must be famous because he is autographing things, right?

The Band

It was a band...and a chorus! They started singing along with the song they were playing and we were grooving on the sidelines enjoying their music.

A Calliope

Oh yeah, baby. A calliope. It just doesn't get much better than that. I'm pretty sure adding a calliope to a parade knocks it out of the park.

A Tank Thingie

Man, where did they find this thing? How awesome! You know every little boy was probably going crazy and soaking up the military cool-ness slowly rolling past them.

I could go on and on...I took so many photos and saw lots of fun things. But I don't want to make all the other high schools in America too terribly sad. Not everyone can put together the most amazing parade ever!

He Did It!

2011-10-23T16:22:00.004-05:00

Cody started running regularly about 7 months ago. I encouraged him to take on a half marathon about 6 weeks ago and even made out a little training calendar for him to follow. He has excelled at running and did great in his half. The race was called 13.1 Dallas. They have other races in cities around the US and this was the first time they had one in Dallas. It was a beautiful course featuring some of the best the city has to offer: the Arts District, Katy Trail, other parks, and some fancy neighborhoods. The kids and I drove down for the end of the race and found the perfect spot to stand and cheer.

The kids went wild when they saw Cody come around the corner. Most of my photos were too blurry. I guess he was running too fast. I'm not even kidding! He finished in 1:50:57 which is a fabulous time. I was impressed!
After the race, we milled about the area and found the Kid's Corner. There was an incredible face painter there. Not only did she do these great designs on the kids, but she did them quickly. Fast, and good, and cheap (free) is not something you often find.

One of the best things about this half marathon was that it benefited World Vision, a group I love to support. Ever since I read The Hole in Our Gospel a couple of years ago, I have had a commitment to help the desperately poor in Africa through this worthy organization. So it was a total bonus that Cody's first half marathon happened to raise money for a good cause we love!

No Way!

2011-10-22T18:26:00.004-05:00

I'm totally signing up for the Plano Arbor Day 5K coming up soon.

I just checked out their website and based on this photo:

I'm thinking they give out kittens to everyone at the start of the race. If you can hang on to your kitten for the full 5K you get to keep it at the end! This race is not giving out shirts...but they are giving out kittens! At least that's the way it seems...

Demotivators

2011-10-20T16:08:00.003-05:00

I found the funniest website this afternoon. Despair.com sells "demotivational" posters. There are tons of them and they are cracking me up big time. Here are a few of my favorites...

It hurts to admit when you make mistakes- but when they're big enough,

the pain only lasts a second.

No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

Always remember that you are unique.

Just like everybody else.

It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

Running Update

2011-10-19T21:22:00.004-05:00

"Running" has been a bad word in my presence for the last 9 months or so. I can't even believe I've been dealing with this IT band injury for so long. You may be aware of my history: how I started jogging after about a decade of inactivity and clawed my way from pathetically huffing and puffing after 30 seconds...to running 5 miles without walking at all. I was so proud of my new running skills, and super happy about losing 30 pounds and 6 clothing sizes. But I unknowingly pushed too hard while training for a half marathon and messed up my IT band big time. It's a tendon of sorts that runs all the way down the outside of the leg from the glutes to the knee. That band can get knotted up and pull at the knee causing terrible pain. It was so bad that I could only run about a tenth of a mile before the pain forced me to walk. I tried foam rolling, sport chiropractic care, and limited walking/jogging to try to overcome the injury but nothing seemed to help much. I took a few months off (mostly the crazy hot summer because I didn't want to run in it anyway) and also did some soul searching. I can't say this with certainty, but I'm almost convinced that my injury was a "gift" from God with a specific lesson intwined. Running had become a constant stress for me because I was always comparing myself to other runners. And I did not measure up. I wasn't as fast, or as good at endurance. I felt like I worked hard, but never performed as well as I wanted. I often felt pretty worthless and discouraged. The injury forced me to stop, then proceed very slowly, and at some point I desperately prayed that if I could just run a nice slow 2 or 3 miler again one day, I'd be happy. And suddenly, my knee pain is fading. I can run a casual 2 miles for the first time in almost a year. I can do a fast walk/jogging pattern and go 4-5 miles. I'm exercising again, and feeling good. And I realize now that just being off the couch and able to walk or jog a bit, at a nice easy pace, is such a joy! I don't feel a need to go faster or longer, or compare myself to anybody else. I'm just thrilled to be doing my thing and taking care of my body.

I even joined a fitness center this week so I can use the treadmill during the dark, cold winter and do some strength training, classes, and maybe even swimming. Turns out the knee problem has been a blessing in disguise. I'm so thankful to be free of that dark cloud of comparison and self-deflating thoughts. Thankfully, I'm not so dense that I haven't been able to transfer this lesson to other areas of life, too.

Yum!

2011-10-19T13:11:00.005-05:00

What does one do when there are a dozen beautiful eggplants hanging in the backyard garden?

One hopes for a super smart creative husband who takes the initiative to pick a couple, slice them up, dip them in egg mixture and panko, fry them to a golden brown, and serve them with the most delicious ranch dressing in the world.

I'm now addicted to fried eggplant. And I am also addicted to Brianna's buttermilk ranch dressing that a friend of mine gave us last week. Seriously, I could drink the stuff.

Just in case you are wanting to make this yummy treat, here is the recipe Cody uses.

1 egg whisked with 1/3 cup cornstarch and a pinch of salt

panko (Japanese bread crumbs)

Cut eggplant into 1/4 inch slices. Dip in egg mixture then bread crumbs. Fry in canola oil for about 3-4 minutes per side. Cody peels the eggplant first, but I forgot to do that when I made some the other night and took the above photo. I don't mind the skin, but some might prefer it without.

Dare I?

2011-10-17T14:29:00.004-05:00

Am I really going to pull this photo out again for the world to see in all its glory?

You bet I am! This time of year, when cute families are taking cute pictures of their cute children in cute pumpkin patches all over the country, is the perfect time to show my very own one in a million pumpkin patch picture!

Baby Nate says "I'll tell ya where to stick this pumpkin!"

Never. Fails. To make me laugh!! I love this picture so much, and I love my mean little baby.

Bobcat

2011-10-16T15:47:00.004-05:00

So, our neighbor called yesterday to tell Cody she saw a mountain lion in her yard. We were intrigued, but somewhat doubtful. We were just about to head to the back patio to take some photos of the crocheted shawl I had just finished, so after the brief photo shoot Cody walked to the back of the yard to look around. He suddenly came running back to me and shouted for me to give him the camera. Just then, I saw a huge cat leap into our yard. Cody ran back down to take pictures and left me wondering if this big cat might be dangerous.

Here it is just before it easily and casually jumped the fence (as if it were a few inches tall) into our neighbor's yard.
It started to run from Cody after jumping the fence.
But it did stop to look back before heading toward the creek again.
Our neighbor still thinks it was a mountain lion, but after looking at the pictures and showing them around we've determined it to be a bobcat. The spots and half tail are the evidence. Though I don't think of a bobcat as much less menacing than a mountain lion. Both have sharp teeth and eat meat. I'm a bit wary now about letting the kids play in the yard.

What I've Been Up To

2011-10-15T14:50:00.005-05:00

It happens almost every fall. I suddenly get the urge to crochet something. Sometimes it's an afghan or baby hats...this year it has been scarves. Scarves in every shape, color and size. Here is a pile o' scarves. I even hosted a learn to crochet party about a month ago and taught some of my friends how to crochet a scarf. Scarves are the ultimate crochet project: simple, fast, requiring little to no thought or stitch counting.

But, after making a zillion scarves, I searched the web for something a little more tricky...and elegant. I found a free pattern for the Elegant Simplicity Shawl on the Lion Brand website and got to work. Actually, I tried two other patterns before it and failed miserably! I could not get them to work right at all and gave up in disgust. Then, I found the elegant simplicity shawl and life got much better.
It can dress up or down and goes especially well with bright purple running shirts, don't you think?
And then right after these photos were taken, a bobcat ran into our yard. I'm not kidding! The camera was already out so we got some pics of the huge cat as it casually leaped over our fence into the neighbor's yard. Guess that will be the next blog post.

Creed

2011-10-13T09:53:00.003-05:00

May I live in a way that embodies an attitude of service rather than entitlement.

When people let me down, may I remember that I have failed them, too.

May I be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and abounding in love.

May I see others through God's eyes.

May I offer words of hope, not judgement.

May I carry a part of someone else's heavy burden.

May I remember that every breath I take is a gift.

May I contribute toward the redemption of all that is broken.

May I always choose love over selfishness.

Thrill Rides

2011-10-13T08:03:00.003-05:00

Our family loves the fair. We tour the creative arts building, see a few shows, eat lots of junk, ride the ferris wheel, and this year for the first time ever we went on rides.

We usually avoid the midway like the plague. It's too crowded and crazy. But our kids are getting older and the rides were half price the day we were there so we figured, why not?

Ava and Nate were unsure about this spinning twister ride. They simultaneously wanted and didn't want to do it. Once I volunteered to ride also, Ava jumped aboard, though she did start crying before the ride began in a last minute panic. I talked her through it, and she ended up loving it. Nate had decided to ride last minute and was not seated near us. He did fine and had fun, too.

Lucas chose the tilt-a-whirl. He was all smiles before the ride began, but once that thing started to spin his face took on a look of sheer horror. After the initial shock, he started smiling again and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

It had been so long since I walked through the midway rides that I had forgotten how awful half of them are. Some of them seem more like torture devices to me. The kids' eyes were like saucers taking in the spinning, lurching, twisting, and looping. I can't believe I didn't see a single person throwing up. It's definitely not my kind of thing, (give me a quiet fireside, hot tea, and a book...) but it's fun to be in that energy-pulsing environment for a short time.

Memory Lane (Corny Dog Style)

2011-10-11T21:46:00.010-05:00

What would the Texas State Fair be without corny dogs? I don't even like to think about it. I'm missing one year in the photos below (I can't recall if we missed the fair that year or what...) Take a look at our beloved yearly corny dog tradition.

TODAY- 2011

2010

2009

2007

2006

2005 (Ava's First Corny Dog)

TINKEBTWTATA

2011-10-10T18:13:00.009-05:00

The title stands for:

Things I Never Knew Existed Before This Weekend That Are Totally Awesome

It's a pretty long list, mostly involving food, so sit back and prepare to be amazed.

Pop Chips are not fried, nor are they baked. They are pressure cooked and they taste great. I especially like the original ones dipped in roasted red pepper hummus. They are full of flavor and reasonably priced, too.

Lesley Stowe's Raincoast Crisps are thick cranberry hazelnut crackers that are the perfect vehicle for getting brie to the mouth. Pair it with a nutty brie and stand back as flavor overload and bliss follow. These are kinda expensive, but can be found on sale. If ever found on sale, stock up. I'm not kidding. Buy about 2 dozen boxes.

How did I not know about this delectable Belgian spread? It's sort of a cross between nutella and peanut butter but contains no peanuts or chocolate. How that is possible, I'm not sure! Use it on sandwiches, dip apples in it, put it on ice cream, on graham crackers, anywhere! It's fascinating! We just found it today at Central Market and Lucas is already highly addicted.

If you are ever in Austin and fail to eat Sunday brunch at Moonshine Restaurant, then I am so sorry for you. I can't begin to describe this experience. All I can say is, look up the menu here, be prepared for an hour wait, and try not to eat for at least 24 hours before so your stomach can fit as much in as possible.

A friend just gave me this cork pops wine bottle opener and it popped my socks off tonight. I had no idea what to expect, especially since the directions basically warn "failure to use this properly could result in death..." It uses air pressure to literally "pop" out a cork. It does require replacement cartridges after 60-80 bottles, and could frighten someone into a heart attack with it's sudden loud popping sound...but it opens a bottle of wine fast and easy. I love it!

After you pop open the wine, I recommend using this wine aerator I found on Amazon. The Trudeau Aerating Pourer fits securely into the top of the bottle and aerates the wine as it pours into the glass. It is only $20 and it makes a young red wine taste about 100 times better. I am not sure how I enjoyed wine at all before finding and using this handy gadget.

Hymn

2011-10-10T16:19:00.003-05:00

This hymn keeps coming to mind over the past few months. The man who wrote it (George Matheson, in the late 1880's) says that it came to him during a time of intense anguish and suffering. Based on these lyrics, I believe it. I love all the words so much, but that first line...that glorious first line grabs my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I love this hymn. In fact, I am just now deciding that I want it to be sung at my funeral. Loyal readers make a note and remind Cody or the kids when the time comes, will ya?

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Stop It!

2011-10-05T10:22:00.004-05:00

I couldn't think of a better title than the words I heard from God this morning. I often hear a message from God while I jog because it is a time that I pull deep within and listen. Up until about 6 months ago, I didn't really think it was possible to hear much from God, at least nothing direct, above and beyond the words of the Bible. Now I realize that my heart was never really listening. Nouwen uses a quote that I love, "Heart speaks to heart." I truly believe now that when I quiet the inner chaos that is my thoughts, desires, fantasies, and arguments and make myself available to hear a word from God, he may actually have something to say to me.

And today that happened. I was jogging along, having a very good and successful run, when I suddenly started to worry about how I would be doing in another mile or so. The worry about the future of the run started to affect my present running. I felt weaker, unsure, fearful, when just before I had felt totally fine. And God said, "Stop it!" I'm paraphrasing here because it's more of an impression that clear speech, but he also said, "Look around and enjoy the place you are right now. The trees are lovely on this trail. The air is cool and pleasant. Your body is working well, you feel good. Don't miss this moment in worry about what running will be like 10 minutes from now. And by the way, stop doing that in your everyday life, too. You analyze the past and worry about the future instead of living in the moment."

Guilty as charged. It is SO hard for me to live in the moment. I feel like the kid who just can't grasp 2 plus 2 equals 4 no matter how many times the teacher says it, demonstrates it, or bangs me over the head with it. So here I am, yet again, trying to start off the day with the goal of remaining in the moment. I long to have the simple trust required to exist in the now and let God be God.

Cemetery

2011-10-05T08:17:00.007-05:00

When I took a trip recently to spend some time in solitude, I had the time and opportunity to visit my grandparents' grave for the first time since they were buried. I bought some fake flowers and headed to Stuart, OK. The impressive main street of Stuart is apparently deserted on the weekend. I think I saw one other vehicle as I drove through the center of town. I went to elementary school at the end of this street from Kindergarten through 3rd grade, so I know the town well. Looks like things have slowed down a bit since I was a kid.
To get to the cemetery, you pass through Stuart (which takes about 15 seconds) and drive a long way on a gravely dirt road. The Rock Creek Cemetery has been around a loooooong time. There are many old graves in this quiet peaceful place in the middle of nowhere.

I placed my flowers and cleaned up the site a bit before sitting down to a picnic lunch. Not only my grandparents, but two sets of great-grandparents and one pair of great-great grandparents are buried here, among other old relatives as well. It is truly a family cemetery. I spent about an hour in the quiet of that place, marveling about family lines and history and thinking about my own children's future.
I'm thankful for all the people who came before me. They each had their own struggles, imperfections, triumphs, and defeats, but through their lives my own came into being. It's a long line of people just doing the best they can. And it continues today through me and my kids and one day through their kids, too.

Appreciate the Now

2011-09-30T08:23:00.004-05:00

An old friend of mine who has been battling cancer for some time wrote the following line in an update:

"Go out and stand in the sun for a minute and don't take it for granted."

I plan to take that advice today.

Ava's Heart

2011-09-29T07:54:00.002-05:00

This morning, at the last minute, I decided to meet the kids for lunch at school. They like this special treat because I bring happy meals and we sit at a special table. The rule at their school is that a student may choose one classmate to join them at the special table. That can be pretty tough, and I wonder how many hurt feelings there are sometimes as they choose between friends. Many times, I have just not even allowed them to bring a friend to nip that sort of problem in the bud. But today they seemed extra excited about inviting a friend to the table. So, I told them to think about which friend they would invite and Nate piped up that he wanted to ask A___, and I am not even sure who that is but I said fine. Ava turned and stated that she would like to invite T____. I was a bit surprised. The name she tossed out was not one of her close friends. I said that was a fine choice, but I wondered out loud why she planned to invite this girl instead of one of her closer friends. Ava replied that yesterday T____ had told her that she never gets picked to sit at the table with anyone when their mom comes for lunch. Ava went on to explain that she just wanted this girl to have a turn, too.

I gave Ava a hug and let her know how proud I was that she was so thoughtful and kind to the people in her class. Then I went to my room and cried a little with joy. The kindness of Ava's heart has caused my own to overflow with joy and thankfulness.

Favorite Music

2011-09-26T20:29:00.002-05:00

Several years ago I bought this CD after a joint worship service with another church. Their song leader led a song that I really liked, and a search online revealed it to be "Take My Life" by Scott Underwood. I bought the CD and listened only to that one song. None of the other songs appealed to me much.

Just recently I was going on a long drive and grabbed this CD for an unknown reason. I popped it in and song after song melted my heart. Every single song...it was unbelievable. Especially since I recalled not caring too much for these songs a few years ago. The music, the words, it all seemed directed right at me, as if each song were prepared to reach into my spirit.

I was even moved to tears several times. Now this CD holds a special place in my heart.

Here is just one example of these wonderful songs...though the words alone aren't as powerful as when combined with the music.

You Are In Control

You are my shepherd
I have no needs
You lead me by peaceful streams
And You refresh my life

You hold my hand
And You guide my steps
I could walk through the valley of death
And I won’t be afraid

Because You are in control
You are in control (3X)

You cause everything to work together
You truly have a sovereign plan
And You know who I am
And You made who I am
And You love who I am

Because You are in control
You are in control (3X)

Touched

2011-09-26T08:12:00.002-05:00

I've taken quite a long break from recording my thoughts and feelings here. And it has been a very good thing. I've learned a lot about myself over the past month, and most of it I'll never be able to share with the world at large in this setting.

But, I will share a moving experience I had this weekend as I attended a charity fundraiser dinner and was fortunate to hear Ron Hall and Denver Moore, authors of Same Kind of Different as Me, speak. The entire evening was about redemption. Over and over the theme echoed that the very worst problems, situations, and attitudes can be overcome with only one thing: love.

The problem is that we are stingy with love. We often have selfish motivations and desires that prevent us from truly acting in the best interest of others. I'm speaking for myself here, because I know this is true in my own life. I have come to believe that the only way to live in love is to tune our hearts to God's love for us. Otherwise we scramble around trying to get our needs met by the people around us and anger, greed, and selfishness lead us.

A quote from Ron Hall, "The Samaritan didn't ask what will happen to me if I stop to help this person, but what will happen to this person if I don't stop to help."

I think that is an excellent way to approach life and all our actions.

Silence

2011-08-20T21:40:00.003-05:00

I've been studying a lot lately about solitude, silence, and prayer. And I am very much looking forward to a silent retreat in the near future. Because of these things, and a handful of other reasons, I will not be blogging or reading blogs for at least a month, perhaps longer. To tell the truth, I am welcoming this change of pace. I figure one of the best ways for me to practice silence right now is to, well...be silent. Imagine that! I can't even describe what silence is coming to mean to me, how deeply it is affecting my life, because to do so would in some ways break that silence. I encourage everyone to pause and reflect on silence for a while. What is it? What is its value? How can it impact our lives or draw us closer to God? For me, at this time in my life, silence is a path I feel called to explore. I'm learning it means more than just using less words per day...for me it is about giving up the desire or need to be heard. I like imagery that paints words as sacred, not meant to be easily thrown about. And also imagery that depicts the spirit within as a fire to be protected, a fire that can diminish when the mouth is too open and eager to share and reveal with too many. I feel like protecting my inner fire for a while.

P.s. For those who only read my blog to see photos of their grandkids, don't worry! I'll send you pics in emails. I'm still around...I'm just keeping my thoughts to myself for a change.

Skiing

2011-08-19T16:11:00.002-05:00

Guess what. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
Probably most people don't wait till age 35 to try waterskiing for the first time.

My heart was pounding as I awkwardly strapped on the skis. People were giving me advice right and left. My main goal was to avoid looking like a total idiot. Thankfully it only took me 3 tries to get up out of the water and after that I was able to go for a good bit without falling. However, in just about every photo, my brows are knit in a look of grave concern and my mouth is grimacing, not smiling. And can I just say that my arms are SORE. It's hard work, waterskiing, but it is a fun feeling that I'm glad I got to experience!

Photos (Part Two)

2011-08-16T19:10:00.006-05:00

And here's what Ava likes to do with the photostudio app on the ipad. I highly recommend clicking on the last photo for a larger look. Like mother, like daughter I guess. Playing around with photos is one of her favorite things to do!

Photos

2011-08-16T09:37:00.005-05:00

I like playing with photos on my ipad using an inexpensive app called photostudio. I've gotten so used to turning pictures into mosaics, posterizing, adding lighting effects, or whatever, that I can barely stand to see a photo of myself that hasn't been doctored in some way! I'm sure there are other great photo apps available for ipad/iphone so if you use one that you love, I want to hear about it!

I Made Dessert

2011-08-15T17:10:00.004-05:00

He made dinner, but I made dessert. Beautiful, scrumptious, vanilla cupcakes with lemon cream and raspberries. I love taking the time to bake something from scratch. I saw these in another cheap cookbook find from half price- the 2005 Food and Wine Magazine collection of recipes. That magazine is hit and miss with me (they often have recipes with ingredients that are far too unusual, or procedures that are too complicated.) But these cupcakes were not too hard to make and they turned out great. The red in the center is seedless raspberry jam which I piped into the baked cupcakes with an icing tip. The recipe called for slicing off the tops, spreading the jam, then replacing the top. It seemed better to me to pipe the jam into the center.

I'm starting to get geared up for fall when baking and cooking really take off for me. I am especially itching to make some pastries and stews. I want to feel the oven heating up the kitchen, and smell something delectable simmering on the stove. I want to make Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon (Beef Stew in Red Wine, with Bacon, Onions, and Mushrooms) again which I swear took me 12 hours to make last time but was the best thing I've ever tasted in my life. I can't wait to make a huge pot of spicy chili. I might even tackle my sister-in-law's recipe for Black Tie Mousse Cake (they have it at Olive Garden) which has 4 layers and takes forever and a day to make. In fact, when I made it years ago I believe it drove me to drinking. But, it was so delicious and so worth the effort!

What are you looking forward to cooking/baking this Fall?

He Made Me Dinner

2011-08-14T19:13:00.003-05:00

Saturday morning Cody asked me if I had planned for dinner yet and I told him that I had not but would figure something out. He replied that he wanted to make dinner for me and told me to leave everything to him. After looking through some recipe books, he went shopping that afternoon and created a delicious meal. I was really impressed!

He made this shrimp that was wrapped in a basil leaf and bacon, then cooked on the grill. It was so tasty. And he roasted red potatoes with rosemary and served it all with some fabulous bread. Enjoying a dinner that I didn't shop for or cook was such a relaxing treat. And...he even did the dishes which is not fair, since he does the dishes when I cook, too!

The only problem for him is that now that he's let it slip that he can cook, I might be expecting it more often!

Best Okra

2011-08-12T08:57:00.003-05:00

Our okra plants are producing like crazy! They and the eggplants are about the only things flourishing in these unbearably high temps this summer. The Dallas Morning News had a recipe for roasted okra so I tried it this week and it's my new favorite way to cook this veggie. I tweaked the recipe a bit and also sliced up an eggplant to roast with the okra...here's how to make it:

1 pound small okra, rinsed and dried
2 TBS olive oil
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp. salt

Heat oven to 450, toss okra in olive oil to coat. In small bowl, combine all spices and whisk together. Toss okra with spice mixture. Spread okra on rimmed baking sheet and roast 12-15 minutes until tender, turning once. Serve immediately with lemon wedges if desired.

The recipe above is my own version, which increased all the spices a bit and added ginger to the mix. These spices are so delicious, you really can't add to much I think. This recipe reminds me of my own Indian way of making okra which I posted on allrecipes many years ago. However, since this new recipe calls for whole okra it's quicker and easier to make.

Love

2011-08-11T09:37:00.005-05:00

I haven't shouted from the rooftops lately, or blogged (which is the modern day equivalent) about how much Cody means to me. He's the kind of guy who would probably prefer that I not list his many endearing qualities on the Internet, but even if it makes him blush a little, I had to mention how much I love him this morning. I've always known that I got a really good guy, but it has become more apparent to me than ever before that He is the epitome of a Godly, faithful, loving husband and father. I could not ask for or even imagine a more amazing person to share life with.

Under-scheduled

2011-08-09T14:44:00.002-05:00

It's less than 2 weeks now until the kids head back to school and I am about ready to declare this summer a success. An extremely hot...success. The thing I am most happy about is that I got to play with these three adorable, interesting, creative, lovable little humans for many many weeks in a row with little to interrupt us. My main goal for summer can be summed up in the idea of "under-scheduling." Swim lessons and a weekly library offering for Ava, which we missed a lot, were about the only things we had on the calendar. We went to the zoo a few times and hit the pool whenever we felt like it (thanks to zoo membership and swim passes) but spent a lot of time at home, too. We had an amazing week at the beach as a family where we did a lot of...nothing. We played in the ocean and sand and hung out lazily in the beach house. We worked a 1000 piece puzzle together. (I'm going to glue that sucker and frame it...any helpful suggestions on how to do that?) We did origami, made bubbles, read books, gardened, visited with lots of friends and family, and basically played most of the days away. I had so much fun spending time with the kids, and I will really miss spending the majority of the day with them when school starts. I'm thankful for lazy summer days and I hope to never take for granted the opportunity I have to spend them with three of the most wonderful people I know.

Power

2011-08-06T15:09:00.002-05:00

The power is going to my head...I changed a Wikipedia entry. Just went right in and changed it, can you believe it? Maybe you do it all the time, who knows. I mean, it is made for the people by the people after all. Everyone is always saying how Wikipedia can't really be trusted because just anyone can go in there and input information whether it's true or not. And now I am also "just anyone."

We had just taken the Blue Bell Creamery tour (which was really neat!) and I wanted to know a little more about Blue Bell. So I typed it into google and one of the first hits was the Wikipedia article. So I went to it and in the first paragraph it claimed that Blue Bell sells ice cream in 19 states. FALSE! I was just on the tour and my tour guide said it sold in 20 states. Oh Wikipedia, it's true...you are full of lies! Suddenly an idea came to me that I, little old me, could change the number of states to 20 and thereby create authenticity and save the day. I had never entered any information in Wikipedia before and felt slightly intimidated. But about 2 seconds into the process I realized how easy it was. I'm betting even a monkey could input information into Wikipedia, and again my views of the overall accuracy of that site have been called into question. After changing a Wikipedia entry, I've started thinking about where exactly all the data there is coming from, what people's motives might be, and how much one reads there can really be trusted. Rest assured, however, should you look up Blue Bell Creamery, the part about them selling to 20 states is 100% true.

Turning 35

2011-08-03T21:34:00.002-05:00

Surprise photo email from my kids first thing in the morning
Homemade blueberry muffins (thanks, Cody)
Special, thoughtful gifts that I will cherish
The best homemade cards ever
Reading all morning on the beach
Shell hunting walk with Nate
Relaxing, restfull conversation all afternoon
Dinner out at a fabulous cafe
Homemade coconut cream pie (thanks, Carol)
Foot massage
Curling up on the couch with another good book

Another year of life. 365 days of experiences, painful and joyful, tucked away in my heart. God has blessed me with much more than I deserve and is opening my heart to his love in new ways. I look forward to growing in his love over the next 365 days.

"All the good you will do will not come from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself, in the obedience of faith, to be used by God's love. Think of this more and gradually you will be free from the need to prove yourself and you can be more open to the power that will work through you without your knowing it." -Thomas Merton

Birthday

2011-08-02T15:30:00.001-05:00

My theory is...if you must turn 35, at least do it at the beach.

Cold Showers

2011-07-28T07:15:00.002-05:00

Here is a nightmare tale for all of you out there who might describe yourself as "the hostess with the mostess." We have been without hot water for a week because our tankless water heater quit working. Cold showers aren't fun, but the worst part is that it broke 2 days before we were due to have company staying at our house for four days. We called in plumbers but they couldn't fix it! (But I still paid a $200 bill...yes, I am slightly irritated about that.) I was so embarrassed to have to tell our dear sweet friends whom we visit with very rarely that we had no hot water in our house. They were so gracious about it, claiming that the Texas heat was so intense they preferred cold showers anyway...but seriously, I felt awful about it. Providing guests with warm showers and baths is one of the most basic forms of etiquette. But instead we were hosing off all the children in the heat of the yard with soap and a garden sprayer.

Cody has ordered a new tankless water heater which should arrive soon and hopefully solve the problem. But until then, showering will continue to be a rather shocking activity. The first few minutes are awful, but after that it is refreshing...kind of.

Forgotten

2011-07-27T07:12:00.002-05:00

This is so embarrassing.

We always let Ava stay up reading or playing in her room for an hour or so when the boys go to bed. Even after the extra waking time, she still has trouble falling asleep most nights. Last night, we sent her to her room as usual at bedtime, then proceeded to visit with our friends who were spending their last night at our house. Around 10 all the adults went on to bed (our friends had a 7:00 am flight today!) I was laying in bed, having a hard time sleeping when suddenly I thought of Ava and could not recall anyone ever going in to tell her lights out and tuck her in. I glanced at the clock. It was 11:00 pm. I thought surely Cody did it, but I had a lingering doubt, so i finally got up just to check. As I walked toward her room, I could see, with a sinking feeling, the light from under her door. I heard humming. I found her sitting in her floor, humming and sorting through some magazines, completely oblivious to the fact that every other person in the house was in bed. I have no idea how late she would have stayed up had I not happened to think of her, but with her track record of insomnia it could conceivably have been all night! I felt so bad that we had forgotten all about tucking her in for the night.

It's the Sauce

2011-07-19T17:11:00.006-05:00

I scored the best find at Half Price books a few months ago. I was cruising the clearance section and saw a beautiful hard back cookbook called Best of the Best: the best recipes from the 25 best cookbooks of the year (from the editors of Food and Wine.) Sure, it's a bit dated (2006) but it features some huge cooking stars and chooses the best few recipes from whatever cookbook they published around 2006. They have recipes by Rick Bayless, Bobby Flay, Paula Deen, Mario Batali, and many more. So tonight I looked through it and chose to make Paula Deen's Pecan Coated Fish with Remoulade Sauce.

It turns out this dish is Super easy and the sauce...oh the sauce...can I tell you this sauce is fabulous? I'm a sauce kind of girl. I've been known to choose meals based on what kind of sauce I desire to eat. I use many foods just as vehicles to get sauces to my mouth only because drinking sauce is frowned upon. I can take or leave shrimp, but I adore cocktail sauce! I like Chuy's food, but it's the tomatillo sauce that beckons me. Fish tacos are fine, but creamy jalapeno lime sauce is what I can't live without.

So, this remoulade sauce, which I had never heard of before today, is a fancy mayonnaise. I am not even a big fan of mayo, but this could be the best sauce I've ever eaten.

Here's the recipe:

4 grouper or tilapia fillets about 1 inch thick (4-6 ounces each)

1 stick butter melted

1 cup pecans (crumbed in food processor)

1 TBS butter

1 TBS vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 350. Rinse and pat dry fish. Dredge in butter then press into pecans to coat. In oven proof skillet, heat the TBS of butter with the oil. When it begins to sizzle, sear the fish 3 minutes per side. Place skillet in oven for 6-10 minutes depending on thickness and desired doneness. Serve immediately with remoulade sauce.

Remoulade Sauce

1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/3 cup chopped green onion

2 TBS capers with juice

1 clove garlic minced

1 cup mayo

3 TBS olive oil

2 TBS fresh lemon juice

1/2 tsp dijon mustard

Place parsley, onions, capers and garlic in food processor and combine. Add the mayo, olive oil, lemon juice, and mustard. Blend well. Chill until ready to serve with seafood. Keeps (covered) in fridge for several weeks and also tastes good on asparagus, claims Paula.

And just an extra tip about this meal. It absolutely tastes best when eaten around 8 PM, after the kids are in bed, by candlelight, with someone you love.

Home

2011-07-19T12:52:00.002-05:00

And now for a long, drawn-out quote from Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son regarding leaving and returning "home." (Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.)

"The farther I run from the place where God dwells, the less I am able to hear that voice that calls me the Beloved, and the less I hear that voice, the more entangled I become in the manipulations and power games of the world. It goes somewhat like this: I'm not so sure anymore that I have a safe home, and I observe other people who seem to be better off than I. I wonder how I can get to where they are. I try hard to please, to achieve success, to be recognized. When I fail, I feel jealous or resentful of these others. When I succeed, I worry that others will be jealous or resentful of me. I become suspicious or defensive and increasingly afraid that I won't get what I so much desire or will lose what I already have. Caught in this tangle of needs and wants, I no longer know my own motivations. I feel victimized by my surroundings and distrustful of what others are doing and saying. Always on my guard, I lose my inner freedom and start dividing the world into those who are for me and those who are against me. I wonder if anyone really cares. I start looking for validations of my distrust. And wherever I go I see them and I say: No one can be trusted. And then I wonder whether anyone ever really loved me. The world around me becomes dark. My heart grows heavy. My body is filled with sorrows. My life loses meaning. I have become a lost soul."

"The younger son's return takes place in the very moment that he reclaims his sonship, even though he has lost all the dignity that belongs to it. In fact, it was the loss of everything that brought him to the bottom line of his identity. He hit the bedrock of his sonship. In retrospect, it seems the prodigal had to lose everything to come into touch with the ground of his being. When he found himself desiring to be treated as one of the pigs, he realized that he was not a pig but a human being, a son of his father. This realization became the basis for his choice to live instead of to die. Once he had come again in touch with his sonship, he could hear- although faintly- the voice calling him the Beloved and feel- although distantly- the touch of blessing. This awareness of and confidence in his father's love, misty as it may have been, gave him the strength to claim for himself his sonship, even though that claim could not be based on any merit."