Memorial Day

Sometimes I gloss over Memorial Day without really thinking about the reason for the holiday. Frankly, it's too painful if I really sit and think about the awful cost of human life that has been paid over and over again for various just and unjust causes. I can't imagine the feeling of offering my life for a conflict between countries or peoples. I know it has to be done sometimes, though I wish it never did. I am grateful to those that have made and are willing to make that sacrifice. I'm thankful for teary eyed old great-grandfathers that wear their emotion on their sleeve as they think about their fallen friends from so long ago. I'm thankful for fresh faced 19 year olds that embody strength and dedication. I'm thankful for everyone inbetween that has served this country out of duty, honor, challenge, for college tuition, or even because they were just plain forced to do it. I understand that there's a high personal price to be paid by those in the military...a price I've never had to pay. So I am indebted to them all.

Calling Africa

Cody and I called the continent of Africa for the first time the other day. Our friends Chad and Amy Carter are there working as missionaries in Burkina Faso. We had wanted to call for a while, but finally made up our minds to figure out the best way to call (an electronic phone card from noblecom.com) and the best time to call (they are only 5 hours ahead of central time zone). There was a slight delay on the line, but overall the quality was amazing. I guess I'm a simple minded person, but I can't begin to comprehend how my voice can travel through a wire all the way to Africa in split seconds. Does that seem strange to anyone else? I mean, how did anyone (Alexander Graham Bell to be exact) ever come up with the idea of a voice traveling through wire? How is this possible? There are a lot of daily activities that blow my mind. The internet, video conferenceing, space travel, and air travel just barely scrape the top of my wonderment. Sometimes I try to imagine what my grandparents must think of all these things, if even I am so mind-boggled by them. Then I think about the crazy ideas that will soon become reality and also the yet unimagined concepts that will be reality 50 years from now. I can't believe humans are smart enough to come up with these ideas and develop incredible working products. Not that I doubt the human race...but I know I personally could never come up with any of those ideas, so it's hard for me to imagine the minds that DO come up with them.

Pennies

Here's a link Cody's uncle sent. I'm sure he figured Cody would get a kick out of it, seeing as he builds structures for a living. It's a little scary what people can accomplish when they have a lot of time on their hands. Pennies I actually enjoyed looking at it as well, although it didn't inspire me to try any of my own.

The List

Sometimes I feel like my brain is just a giant "to-do list". Often I find myself searching mentally over the list of things that must be accomplished. Some need to be done today. Some are on the list, but don't have to be done until months from now, or even years! I can get caught up in the list which produces anxiety about meeting deadlines. Real or imagined deadlines that define who I am. I am a good mother IF I get the kids clothes put away today (after all, they've only been sitting in a pile for a week now), I put Ava's books back on the shelf (instead of the mess piled on the floor), I remember to pack the diaper bag adequately. I am a good wife IF I make dinner tonight, I clean the kitchen, etc. I am a good person IF I send a note to the widow across the street, take a meal to an elderly woman this afternoon. The key is maintaining a mental list without letting it become my life- or define who I am. To do this, I have to have a clear cut definition of who I am as a person that doesn't change with the activities I perform. (or don't perform!) Isn't it true that we tie our perception of ourselves up in what we do and don't do? We do something and feel good about ourselves, or bad about ourselves. We compare ourselves to what everybody else is doing and not doing. I'm better/worse than that person. Let me be still for a moment and think about the true identity of my self. It's good to have a list, it's good to actively complete good works, as long as they don't become your identity.

Interesting Article

In the Dallas News Religion Section there was a question and answer session with author Ron Sider who wrote The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience. In his book he addresses the problem of Christians living just like the rest of the world. Statistics show that Christians and non Christians live almost identically as far as divorce, sexual promiscuity, and greed. Here is an interesting fact: the average evangelical Christian gives 2.66 percent of their income to their local church body, and only 9% of Evangelicals tithe (give away 10% of their income.) You can read the entire article here. So let's talk about materialism for a minute. I think one of the most revealing questions about where a person is in their level of faith and commitment to God is "How much of your income/time do you give to God?" I don't think Christians have to give all of their tithe to the church, but they do need to give it to SOME kind of outlet that furthers God's Kingdom. Some might think that tithing is part of the "old law" and doesn't apply anymore. Actually, Jesus took the old law and turned it into a heart attitude that actually demands even more from us than just checking off a list of rules. I would say tithing is just a STARTING point, and that we'd all do well to give even more than that. So what prevents people from tithing? After all, 10% is really such a small amount, right? Well, it would be if we didn't: A. Overextend ourselves by living above our means in an effort to gain happiness through status and possesions B.Tightly grasp our wealth as our security blanket C. Fail to realize that the money we have does not even belong to us in the first place because it has been provided by God and He expects us to use it wisely for his purposes. I include time as something to be "tithed" because we are just as selfish (maybe more so) with our personal time as we are with our money. So how does this relate to our level of faith and commitment to God? Well, here are a couple of sayings. One Biblical, one worldly, and both applicable. "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." and..."Put your money where your mouth is."

It's A Miracle

Last night something amazing happened. Nate and Ava both slept all the way through the night, in their bedroom, and in their beds! We just started putting Nate in the crib in Ava's room this week. He was still waking up a couple of times a night though. And Ava comes into our room in the middle of the night about 3-4 times a week. So, in order for them to BOTH sleep through the night it really had to be a miracle. And oh the glorious bliss of a full night's sleep. I can't even explain the feeling of waking completely refreshed and rested, especially when it was not expected. I felt so alive! So full of energy! So full of dread- for a second- I did the typical mom thing of running in and making sure everyone was still breathing. Ahh, relief...they were sleeping peacefully! Let's hope this becomes a habit!

It's Summer

Summer finally made it. It's about 100 degrees outside after weeks and weeks of weather in the 70's and low 80's. It's like suddenly a switch was flipped and now there's no going back. We'll be roasting until Fall brings welcome relief. Part of me naively believed that maybe it wasn't going to happen this year. Here it is almost the end of May and I thought it usually happens earlier than this... Summer in Texas. If you've experienced it then you know how true the phrase "I think I'm going to melt" can be.

Role Play

It sure is fun to watch Ava role play with her stuffed animals and toys. It can be funny and humbling to see her act out the many experiences of her life. I like to see what makes an impression on her as she often acts out with her toys what she has learned from Cody or me. I hear her say things like "Oh no! Teddy Bear got hurt. It's okay Teddy Bear." And she grasps him tightly and rocks or pats him consolingly. She makes a larger stuffed cat hug a smaller cat and says "The mama is helping the baby go to sleep." She says "The monkey is going to look for a banana, he'll be right back." I say "I'll be right back" countless times a day I'm sure. Ava also likes to tell our cat "no." Whatever Jingle happens to be doing, for instance just walking under the piano minding its own business, Ava will say "No Jingle! Don't walk under the piano!" Ava also has this habit of repeating only the last few words of a long sentence, and sometimes it just sounds so bad! Like last night I told her "You better eat your dinner because this is your only chance to eat and if you don't eat now you'll be hungry later, and Mama and Daddy won't give you any food." She starts repeating "Mama and Daddy won't give me any food." over and over in a sad voice with a frown. Any stranger on the street would be calling child protective services in a second if they heard her.

I Wanna be Published

No, I don't have high hopes for a book deal, or plans to sell my memoirs. All I want is to get my tip published in one of two magazines. Family Circle and Parents both have reader's tips each month. Family Circle pays $50 and Parents pays $25 if they use your tip. I always read these tidbits people send in and think- "Hey! I've had that idea before!" or "I do that already." or "I can think of something like this." So, today I emailed a tip to each magazine. Different tips, of course, to fit the type of magazine. So far, no word back. I was hoping they'd be beating down my door by now praising my glorious tips. What were the tips, you might ask? Well, if they don't get published within the next month, maybe I'll share. By the way, the more you say the word "tip" the stranger it becomes.

Fired up

We went to a potluck after church on Sunday specifically for the families of children in the nursery through age 3. There was a long table full of delicious food. The tables were abuzz with the joyful chatter of parents and children. And, the tables were beautifully decorated with...CANDLES AND TISSUE PAPER. Hey, I am definitely not an expert, but fire, extremely flammable paper, and 2 year olds don't mix well. And less than 5 minutes into it all, sure enough, one of the table tops was ablaze as several people frantically beat at the fire with their shoes. Oops.

How Embarrassing

You know that arm motion drivers do when they are utterly overwhelmed with irritation and they throw up both arms in questioning disgust toward the other driver/pedestrian? Well, my friend told me yesterday that he was the recipient of that arm motion. Sunday morning. In the church parking lot. As he was walking to his car. From a church member driving out of the parking lot! My friend stepped in front of the car thinking it would stop. It sort of did, but then my friend stopped. It was one of those- "you go, no, you go first, after you" kind of things where no one is sure who is going to go forward and it's an awkward back and forth. My friend sort of waved his hand and smiled and then the woman gave him that response. It really shocks me. I mean, if you can't come out of an uplifting time together with other Christians and even make it out of the parking lot before the world's ways take over then there is something seriously wrong!

Religion Section

Every Saturday the Dallas Morning News has a Religion section. I used to not read it because it would get me upset or sad because there are so many misled ideas coming from misled people. However, I started reading it again over the past several months. There are still plenty of misled ideas, but they help me gain information into the way people think. Sometimes I even find quite a nugget of inspiration. Their book reviews are also informative, and I have purchased several based on their review. They also feature a website of the week. This week, the web site is about a group of people who went "mystery worshipping" to over 70 London churches and wrote reviews of what they found. From sermon length, to strength of coffee, to warmth of welcome. I haven't looked it up yet, but the address is www.shipoffools.com/mw_sunday/index.html in case you're interested. First of all this reminds me of what a commercial view we have of churches these days. People really do shop for church as they search out what church "fits" them best, or offers the most, or makes them feel comfortable. But, it also reminds me that every Sunday our church is visited by "mystery worshippers" in the form of guests, and our first impressions really do mean a lot. Especially in the warmth of welcome catagory. What is the balance between offering something that attracts "consumers" and existing as the Body of Christ reaching out to the community/world, loving each other and the lost, building one another up with encouragement, teaching and growing in knowledge of God, being a family, serving one another and the world in love? Well, I think if a church is doing the things listed, then they automatically are attractive to the person searching for Jesus. And if a person is just looking for a place to be comfortable, slide their time card, and drink good coffee...well, then that person isn't really wanting to be a part of the Body of Christ anyway.

Spanglish

I got Spanglish through netflix a week or so ago and finally sat down to watch it (without Cody- he wasn't interested.) So if you haven't seen the movie yet and plan to, you may want to stop reading now. Here's the one thing that really stood out to me about the movie. It showed a stark contrast between selfishness and unselfishness. The mother was extremely self absorbed (and miserable by the way.) The father and housekeeper were unselfish, and though slightly miserable at the time, one is left with the feeling that they are both going to be alright. The father and the housekeeper somehow fall in love without trying and without acting on it, in fact they try to avoid it. Meanwhile the mother has gone off and had an affair. When the mother tells the father of her affair he is devestated. He and the housekeeper run off somewhere and they flirt with the possiblity of their own affair. Here's what I really like- they DON'T have an affair, mostly because of their responsibilities to their children and because it would be wrong. They go their seperate ways as she quits her job at their home the next day. Now is that counter-cultural or what? Think of all the families being wrecked by affairs every day. It's all because people want to do what makes them happy at the time and self gratification is more important than anything else, including their spouse, children, career, reputation, etc. Self gratification is this hungry beast that seems to take over lives and leave a wake of destruction. How refreshing to see characters in a movie step back and think of others instead of their own "happiness."

Longevity

I may be an unusual 28 year old in that all 4 of my grandparents are still living. I have suddenly become reminded of both of their wedding anniversaries in the span of about a week. One set of grandparents is going on a cruise this August to celebrate 60 years of marriage. The other set will celebrate 63 years this year. So just in my grandparents alone, over a dozen decades of marriage is represented. It makes me smile to think about their commitment to one another. In the midst of our 50% divorce rate, and common belief that marriage is really just an extended dating relationship- easy to call off when it becomes tiresome or boring or difficult. So what are the keys to a long lasting marriage? I think I have a few ideas about it. First of all, never date someone that you couldn't marry- it's a waste of time, or you'll end up marrying anyway even though you knew all along this person and you have serious conflicts. Second, really know the person you are marrying and understand that they aren't going to change much. Third, realize that you aren't always going to "feel" in love with this person because love takes work...it isn't magic. This is how I can know for sure that my marriage with Cody will last. And it sure is a good feeling, never having to worry or feel insecure about our relationship because we both agree about the above principles.

Some People

Some people just have a chip on their shoulder, don't they? And it seems they are all too eager to take it out on an innocent bystander. Tonight I went to Kinkos to run some copies (regarding a blanket collection for the charity Newborns in Need, no less.) I prepared my original and walked up to the copiers just as the only 2 working copiers were taken by people. So I stood waiting. Then I realized that the man at the copier nearest me was not actually making copies, but rather organiaing a huge stack of papers. I thought maybe he was not even using the copier, just working beside it. So, I asked, "Excuse me, are you using this copier right now?" He angrily replied, "You want to use it? Fine (rips his credit card out of the machine...I didn't even know his card was in there.) Fine- use the damn copier then!" To which I said somewhat shocked, "No, I don't mind waiting at all. I didn't realize you were using it. I'm sorry." "That's not what you said." he snapped angrily. So, I stood a ways back definitely NOT looking at him and waiting for one of the 2 copiers to become available. After a few minutes he turned to me again and said, "Just use the stupid thing- this happens every time I come to this store. There are always 2 or 3 people standing around like buzzards. I can't handle it." I replied, "Well, okay if you are sure, but I really don't mind waiting." Then he continued his discourse about buzzards and people waiting to pounce as I started to put my card in. And then I realized I just couldn't make copies while he was standing there next to me sneering and all upset. So I removed my card and walked away. I walked over to the front counter and did what any already somewhat sensitive person with an added dose of post pregnancy hormones would do: I cried. Through my sniffs I asked the lady behind the counter if there were any other copiers I could use because that man was making very uncomfortable and I just couldn't do what I needed to do over there. After graciously asking if he needed to be thrown out (I declined), she took care of my copies for me as I waited there. I feel sorry for someone that is that angry and rude about nothing. I feel sorry for someone that feels verbally attacking people is acceptable behavior. I feel sorry that I allow such unkindness to impact me so deeply- could I not let it roll off my back? But through it all, at least I can say I never repaid his jerk-ful behavior. And it's a good reminder that all the people we encounter... from the UPS delivery person to the lady in line behind us at the grocery store... are not one dimensional objects toward which to direct our wrath, but living breathing spirit-filled humans in the midst of their daily lives and worthy of our consideration and kindness.

Yuck

I thought commercials are supposed to make things look better than they really are and compel you to want them. not so with the Sonic commercial for the new zesty Cajun Chicken burger. The chicken looks great, and that pepper jack cheese gets my mouth to watering. Yummy crisp lettuce, and then the part that makes my stomach turn: the special blackened glaze sauce. What is this stuff? It looks like a variety of things to me- all of which would be utterly disgusting on a sandwich. Chocolate sauce? Motor oil, perhaps? Hot tar or slimy dark pond scum...maybe. Let's just say I WON'T be trying that one. Besides, why try something new when the classic extra long chili cheese coney exists?