Never

I know that conventional wisdom says "Never say never." However, there are a few things in life that I am 99.9% sure I can safely say I will never do. And here they are in no particular order.

I will never...
1. Attempt a triathlon. I can't even run one mile. I have never been able to run, swim, or even bike a very long distance. I trained for months once and was able to finally get up to running one mile. I am not kidding! I am just a pathetic athlete.

2. Own a dog. Yes, the kids will probably beg for a dog at some point in their lives, but I am not going to give in. I can't stand having a dog outside in the heat of the summer and I sure wouldn't have it in the house! I don't want dog crap in the yard. It's just a bad bad idea all around.

3. Put a bumper sticker on my car. It has been ingrained in me somehow all the years of my life that bumper stickers ruin the paint on a car (I don't even know if that is true or not). Plus I just don't like the way they look. I know all my kids will probably be A students at such and such school, but the person behind me on the street sure won't know about it.

4. Smoke. It's just not appealing. If I haven't started by now, I figure I will never start.

5. Tell my children to "shut up". I probably won't tell anyone else to "shut up" either. I really hate that particular phrase. And I'll admit that it has come to my mind a few times before, but it has not come across my lips. It's a really common phrase, but I wish it wasn't. It bothers me more than most cuss words.

6. Read "Moby Dick." I started it once in high school and could barely make it through the first dozen pages. And there are about a million more pages after that. It seemed to be the most boring book in the entire world, and nothing can entice me to attempt it again.

7. Cheat on my husband. I just would not do that in a million years. I am telling you if Brad Pitt stopped by the house and wanted one little kiss I wouldn't do it. And even more than my respect for and commitment to Cody, I think the reason for this lies with my kids. I would never want them to be hurt in that way. I think kids are the biggest casualty when a parent breaks trust with their spouse.

8. Get anything pierced. I got my ears pierced once a long time ago and the holes have closed up sometime in the last decade. I never wore earrings enough I guess. I have no desire to re-pierce them, or get any other body parts pierced for a first time. But, I might get another tattoo one day.

9. Water ski. I have never tried and now I think I am just too old to start. It doesn't appeal to me, and I don't have much access to it anyway. So I don't think it will happen. And that's okay.
However, I might try snow skiing again, even though I am really bad at it.

10. Skydive. I'm too chicken.

I hope this list doesn't come back to bite me one day. Someone will wave it in my face if I do end up doing one of these things! But I really don't think it will happen, or else I wouldn't have written it.