Wednesday, October 24, 2007
More about Cody and London, Minus the Squirrels
My last post got me to thinking even more about the semester Cody and I spent in London so long ago. As I mentioned earlier, I had a big crush on Cody. He was the cutest boy on the trip. He was quiet, introspective, polite, calm, studious, and independent. I tried really hard to strike up conversations with him. I tried to hang out with him when I could. But to be honest, he didn't make it easy on me. I thought he kind of liked me, but I am not sure what I was basing that on since he didn't give any signs (other than not running away when he saw me approaching). Slowly but surely my efforts paid off, and the more time I spent with him the more I liked him. He was different than any guy I had ever dated before. One thing I especially liked about him was his ability to truly be himself without giving a care to how others received him or felt about him. I had never known such abandonment, being the self-conscious people-pleaser that I was/am. I like to think some of his self-assurance has rubbed off on me throughout the years. He's also the kind of guy that a person would want around if they were, oh, stuck on a deserted island, adrift at sea, or trying to escape from an underground cave or something. He's so dang smart, resourceful, and able to meet anything head on without even flinching. Basically, he's the strong silent type. That strong silence was appealing. I was being drawn to him like a magnet. But the problem was I just couldn't figure out where we stood. By the end of our semester in London, I saw myself as his girlfriend. But, I had no clue how he saw me. The day after Thanksgiving, we boarded separate planes and flew back home to different cities. The trip was over. It was a fun semester, but had it been for real? I had trouble getting him out of my mind for two seconds, but I wondered if he thought of me at all. We spoke on the phone every day and planned to meet at our college campus a couple of weeks after arriving home from London. The semester was still going on there, and we both wanted to visit some friends. Before I left on that trip I had made up my mind. The entire future for Cody and me depended on one thing: How he treated me during this brief visit. If it was totally casual, friendly, but non-committal then I was going to give it up. But, if he seemed genuinely pleased to be with me and said anything that suggested he thought of me as his girlfriend then I would gladly continue to pour myself into a relationship. I was so nervous the day we arrived at our college campus. I wondered what would happen. When Cody saw me, he had the biggest smile on his face and followed that with a kiss. He took me immediately to meet several of his friends, to whom he introduced me as his girlfriend. Little did he know (he knows now) that those few actions and sentences were the point from which our relationship moved forward. We most likely would not be married today with three beautiful children if he had played it cool and aloof that day. Later he confessed to me that he liked me from the first time he saw me at the meetings before we even left for London. I bet he'd be a great poker player.