Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bad Run

I had the kind of run this morning that makes me want to give up this sport forever. It was terrible. I have already been feeling a bit down for the past couple of weeks because I have not run 3 miles since I did my 5K 2 weeks ago. I've only done small 2 mile runs maybe one 2.5. Part of the problem is that I am having trouble finding enough time to run. Sometimes all I have is 30 minutes, so all I can do is 2 miles because I am so pokey.

I've also been feeling down lately because I have not felt much if any improvement over the past few weeks. At the beginning I was seeing big jumps in improvement because basically, when you stink at running, it doesn't take too much work to make noticeable gains in time or distance.

I have been at a 13 minute per mile pace for a while now without getting any better, in fact, many times I do worse than that. Like this morning, for example. I knew Cody was headed out to work the whole day so I tried to get a run in before he left knowing it was my one chance for the day. I was all excited thinking this might be a fabulous way to start my day. As I started running, my legs felt like lead. I was breathing hard before I hit a quarter of a mile. I had to stop and walk so many times. I felt weak and pathetic. I had planned to go 3 miles for the first time in ages, and I only did 1.4 miles.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I've been known to cry in the middle of a run if I feel things aren't going very well. I didn't cry, but I felt this deep sadness and doubt. It made me seriously question why I am even attempting this "running thing." And, as is probably noticeable from the tone of this post, I am still questioning and feeling down about it.


Becky said...

Hang in there. You are an inspiration for me (and others I am sure). Please don't give up.

Rachel said...

Becky, you've done so well so far! I don't know what some of your goals are for running but I do know that even 30 minutes of walking is worth it as far as being active and all that jazz. I don't know much about it, but there is something like a training "wall" that people hit from time to time...or a plateau. Somehow you're supposed to change your routine to push your body to the next level. Like I said...I don't know much about that! :)

Lynn Leaming said...

Sorry you are so down Becky. The messages you are giving yourself are not ones the Lord would be speaking over you. Tell Satan to leave you alone and just keep speaking truth to yourself. Philippians 4:13. Your ability to run does not define who you are. The fact that you got up and tried is success. Times and distances don't define you either. May you just feel our sweet Lord singing over you. Zephaniah 3:17