Bad Run

I had the kind of run this morning that makes me want to give up this sport forever. It was terrible. I have already been feeling a bit down for the past couple of weeks because I have not run 3 miles since I did my 5K 2 weeks ago. I've only done small 2 mile runs maybe one 2.5. Part of the problem is that I am having trouble finding enough time to run. Sometimes all I have is 30 minutes, so all I can do is 2 miles because I am so pokey.

I've also been feeling down lately because I have not felt much if any improvement over the past few weeks. At the beginning I was seeing big jumps in improvement because basically, when you stink at running, it doesn't take too much work to make noticeable gains in time or distance.

I have been at a 13 minute per mile pace for a while now without getting any better, in fact, many times I do worse than that. Like this morning, for example. I knew Cody was headed out to work the whole day so I tried to get a run in before he left knowing it was my one chance for the day. I was all excited thinking this might be a fabulous way to start my day. As I started running, my legs felt like lead. I was breathing hard before I hit a quarter of a mile. I had to stop and walk so many times. I felt weak and pathetic. I had planned to go 3 miles for the first time in ages, and I only did 1.4 miles.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I've been known to cry in the middle of a run if I feel things aren't going very well. I didn't cry, but I felt this deep sadness and doubt. It made me seriously question why I am even attempting this "running thing." And, as is probably noticeable from the tone of this post, I am still questioning and feeling down about it.