Thursday, May 21, 2009

Houston...We Have a Problem

And although it doesn't have the same life or death quality as a problem on a space mission, it's still pretty serious. You would think that by the third kid I would have this parenting thing figured out. Unfortunately, parenting is much more complicated than that and all kids are different. I am finding out that my third child is my most obstinate. And that is really saying a lot because the other two certainly had their moments. I know the "terrible twos" are a cliche, but heaven help me I am living in the midst of them and nearing critical mass. This child fights me on everything. He simply cannot follow a direction or submit to a request in any way. I hear the word "no" a thousand times a day. Now I could punish him all day long, he's that defiant. However, I pick and choose my battles carefully. I don't make very many demands, but the ones I do make are unavoidable. I must load him into the car seat and leave right away to pick up Ava from school. That's not negotiable. But almost every time I have to put him in the car to go somewhere it ends in a spanking for him (and a beating for me...). He will not sit down and get buckled. I've tried everything. I reason with him, I give him choices, I clearly outline the consequence if he decides to resist, and then I spank him because he won't ever give in. Sometimes I have to spank him twice. Sometimes I have to physically force him into the seat screaming and crying. I would think after a few times he would "get it" and stop disobeying. It's the same kind of thing with diaper changes, rest time, and basically anything else he sets his mind against. I am loving, but firm and doing things the very best way I know how, yet it does not get better. By the end of the day I am worn out from battling him. I don't give in like so many parents do (and really I can see why they do because sticking to your guns is exhausting.) But he isn't giving in either! It's a stalemate. I know I have to win, eventually. It's just so hard to keep on setting limits and expecting him to obey when he challenges it 100 times a day, or an hour. So any parenting experts are welcome to weigh in with advice, or better yet, offers to take him for a weekend while I go sip a pina colada on the beach will be seriously considered.

1 comment:

Jenn M said...

This parenting thing is so hard! My only advice is to keep on doing what you're doing. It is very exhausting, but eventually you will win and he will mature and start obeying. Then, you will see the fruit of all this labor. You're doing a good job by not giving in! You're a good mother! (I think we all need to hear that from time to time even if it is from a person we haven't seen in 15 years!) :)