Houston...We Have a Problem

And although it doesn't have the same life or death quality as a problem on a space mission, it's still pretty serious. You would think that by the third kid I would have this parenting thing figured out. Unfortunately, parenting is much more complicated than that and all kids are different. I am finding out that my third child is my most obstinate. And that is really saying a lot because the other two certainly had their moments. I know the "terrible twos" are a cliche, but heaven help me I am living in the midst of them and nearing critical mass. This child fights me on everything. He simply cannot follow a direction or submit to a request in any way. I hear the word "no" a thousand times a day. Now I could punish him all day long, he's that defiant. However, I pick and choose my battles carefully. I don't make very many demands, but the ones I do make are unavoidable. I must load him into the car seat and leave right away to pick up Ava from school. That's not negotiable. But almost every time I have to put him in the car to go somewhere it ends in a spanking for him (and a beating for me...). He will not sit down and get buckled. I've tried everything. I reason with him, I give him choices, I clearly outline the consequence if he decides to resist, and then I spank him because he won't ever give in. Sometimes I have to spank him twice. Sometimes I have to physically force him into the seat screaming and crying. I would think after a few times he would "get it" and stop disobeying. It's the same kind of thing with diaper changes, rest time, and basically anything else he sets his mind against. I am loving, but firm and doing things the very best way I know how, yet it does not get better. By the end of the day I am worn out from battling him. I don't give in like so many parents do (and really I can see why they do because sticking to your guns is exhausting.) But he isn't giving in either! It's a stalemate. I know I have to win, eventually. It's just so hard to keep on setting limits and expecting him to obey when he challenges it 100 times a day, or an hour. So any parenting experts are welcome to weigh in with advice, or better yet, offers to take him for a weekend while I go sip a pina colada on the beach will be seriously considered.