Thursday, February 28, 2013

One Week

How can it suddenly be one week till I leave for Africa?

There have been so many other things going on the past few weeks...big things that require lots of attention, focus, energy...that my departure has snuck up on me.  I just haven't had the ability to think about packing, traveling, or loving on orphans until now (as in 5 minutes ago).  Now is my golden time of preparation.

Now that I have the chance to prepare (and the necessity of it is screaming in my face) I am almost unsure of what to do.  Packing for a week in Africa is a little bit daunting.  I don't want to overpack.  But I don't want to find myself lacking once there.  And oh yeah, I also need to prepare my heart and mind to be an open channel of God's love...I only need about 20 years to get that done, not a week!

So instead of starting, I sat down to write this.  (Shaking my head.)  I'm usually a list kind of person but in this case, I haven't even been able to make a list.  It's like I've got some mental block about it, some irrational fear of even starting to try to get it in order.

But I didn't really begin this entry with the idea of spilling my packing and organizational woes.  I think I wanted to just reach out and ask for many, many prayers.  I long to feel covered in prayer during this journey.  I would be so encouraged by anyone saying that they intend to ask God for blessings on my behalf.  Several have told me already that they are praying for me, for the team, for Cody and the kids, for the children and adults we will interact with in Rwanda...I can't explain how that lifts my spirit, how it encourages me, how it comforts me.

I have no idea what I'm headed into exactly.  I don't know how God will use me.  I don't know what God will teach me.  There may be a mixture of joy and sorrow involved.  And as long as I'm being honest, the idea of leaving my family for a week (which didn't seem so difficult when I signed up for this 2 months ago) is now tearing at my heart a bit.

I need to get started, and do something with the massive pile of "probably taking this to Africa" stuff in the middle of the bedroom floor.  But I really want to start by placing my will in God's hands, and I think it might take the prayers of the village to help me along there.


Rachel said...

I am praying for God to prepare your heart starting now. And also for you during the trip and when you return as you mentally and emotionally process the trip and re-enter life here in America. I cannot wait to hear about your experiences.

Lauren C. said...

Hey Becky - I just wanted to let you know I'll be praying (I've marked reminders on my calendar :).

Elaine Acosta said...

The song "God Will Take Care of You" came into my head when I read this. Embrace your fears - God WILL take care of you as you share His love across the world.